#17: 15 Pound Milestone

Yay! I passed my 15 pound loss and am well on my way to 20 pounds. When I reach 25, I plan to buy myself a fabulous Rachael Ray cooking knife or pot. I'll decide when I get closer--hopefully the middle of October!

Another morning of private hilarity. Yesterday my niece Katie (love you Katie!) offered to loan me Mockingjay, the third book in the Hunger Games series. All week I had been planning to buy the book and decided I'd wait 'til I'd hit my milestone. I gladly accepted the loan, but stuck to my vow to not begin reading until I had weighed and reached my goal. I don't weigh until Sunday mornings, so I had to sleep with the book on my night stand. If you haven't read the series, you might not understand this, but the book called out to me in my sleep and I finally woke up at 3:30 a.m., weighed myself and began to read. For reals! (I fell asleep again around 5:30 a.m. and had odd dreams of Stampin' Up! being reorganized into districts and the employees being called to an assembly where Shelli (the owner) spoke to us dressed like Katniss from the book! Bizarro land, I know.)

Here's my favorite thought from Shrink Yourself: "...you run to food for refuge, then criticize yourself for overeating and end up focusing on what you've just consumed rather than the ... hurt feelings. It's easier to live with a self you've deemed temporarily lacking in self-control than with a permanently stupid or ugly self that no one wants to spend time with." For years as a school counselor I worked with students who had done their homework diligently only to 'lose' it when it was due. Their parents were frustrated about this lack of organization and would come to me hoping I could hook them up with some amazing Trapper Keeper that would prevent this from happening again. I began to wonder if these kids preferred to be seen as lazy and unprepared rather than being proven to be stupid if they handed in their attempts to do the work correctly. I've been saying for years sometimes I act like an eighth grader, here's the proof! In all seriousness, this really struck a chord in me. I haven't put myself out there (the dating scene) for years--using my weight as an excuse. Better to be rejected for being fat instead of the real essence of Bonnie. Hmm. What else have I been putting on the shelf out of self doubt?

Enlightenment is empowering, but brings responsibility.

Thanks for tuning in! While things have been consistently going well, every week, every day, every hour is a struggle to overcome this addiction.

#15

I had really hoped to hit a 15 pound milestone with blog #15, but fell short. I lost .5 this week. Still, I am content with my progress towards this goal and I admit I didn't make the choices to achieve more spectacular results. Two cases in point: 1) I carefully planned my treats for the Friday swim and stamp fest, but when the Ranch flavored Doritos appeared, I gobbled; and 2)Yesterday I went to Despicable Me (such a cute show!) with Tamsin and Emma. We got there early, so we went to Wendy's and I got a kids' meal/happy meal. Without the bun and eating half the fries and Frosty, it was a respectable 8 Weight Watcher points, so not too bad. What did derail me was the movie popcorn--with butter. I knew I was eating too much of it (basically, any was too much because I certainly wasn't hungry) but I just kept at it. Argh.

My books still haven't arrived, but I also reserved some at the library on the off chance those would beat Amazon. I was thrilled that Shrink Yourself was available, so I've begun it. The basic premise is people who react to difficult situations by eating really feel powerless to deal with stress, depression, sadness, etc. in any other way. So Gould (the author) is going to show me how to regain power without using food. Interesting so far.

Anita, Richard and the boys are coming over for Anita's birthday dinner. We're having BBQ chicken salad, homemade ginger ale (Donna's recipe), gazpacho, grilled corn and avocado salsa, fruit, and of course cake and ice cream. Should be fun!

Thanks so much for your support and interest. My brother asked me the other day what was working this time-and I told him about blogging and about you-my friends and family who have allowed me to be honest and to whom I feel accountable. I am truly blessed.