Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Weight Weight, Don't Tell Me!

How, I ask you, can I weigh 274 on Sunday and 281 on Monday? It's not a blip on the scale. I'm more inclined to believe the 281, unfortunately, since this morning I weigh 284.5.

I thought I said goodbye to the 280's months ago. It really distresses me to face the truth. My fun weight tracker doesn't even begin as high as 284, because I didn't think I'd see that number again.

Scream! Whine! Deny!

I truthfully acknowledge I'm doing very little to move the scale down. I don't exercise; I don't record my food online with Weight Watchers; I eat what I want even if I'm not hungry. Last night, after a dinner of tuna on rice cakes, I munched on rice crackers (the entire package), home made french onion dip, and finished off my quart of Rocky Road ice cream (I'm guesstimating I ate 1 1/2 cups).

Gee, why am I not losing weight?

I can't control how much water I retain, how my hormones fluctuate, or how my meds may be affecting my weight loss efforts.

I can control my snacking and emotional eating. It takes strength and courage, but I can do it.

I have to.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Bonnie and Boyd: A Love Story

Don't get excited, folks. Boyd is the name I have given to my artificial knee. Yes, Boyd. My friend Donna actually named him and I'm completely on board. It's kind of fun to speak of myself (even if it's just a portion of myself) in the third person. Plus, Boyd has some quirks that Bonnie doesn't.

Let me elaborate.

Boyd doesn't like to sleep. He gets all wired up and wants to squirm, wiggle and twitch. Bonnie, on the other hand, enjoys a great night of uninterrupted sleep. It's an interesting conflict. About once a week, Boyd wins and Bonnie has to walk around until he calms down. Fortunately, most of the time Bonnie gets her way. By the way, Boyd is demanding his late night jaunts less and less.

When Bonnie goes up and down stairs, sometimes Boyd just rebels and says, "I'm not going today," so Bonnie has to go backwards to fool him. It's odd, but it works.
Bonnie thinks she can travel on weekends; Boyd gets quite annoyed and screams at her. Then he keeps her awake all night. Stubborn man!

Enough about Boyd.

I'm ready for renewed weight loss efforts! I'm not trying anything drastic and new (okay, I am doing a 7 day cleanse, but that's more for health than for weight loss), but I'm trying on a new attitude. I am going to celebrate every pound. Every little pound. I get so wrapped up in the next big milestone that I skip what it takes to get there. So, I made myself a twenty pound tear off tracker. Each page has an inspirational quote along with my current weight. So, I began at 282 (I just typed 182, does that tell you how in tune with my body I am?), then 281, 280, 279, etc until 262 which is the last page in my tracker. I'm going to hang it near my scale and do a victory dance each time I move to a new page.

That's my plan.