Monday, September 9, 2013

?: Bonnie is Rebooting

Be patient, this may take some time. The rebooting, that is.

After my last emotional blog post, I had an equally emotional week. And weekend. Early in the week I told my friend Cori "I want to eat all day." And I did. All day, all night, all weekend. I ate carb-filled food. I craved potatoes, bread, chips, chocolate. I ate nachos three times a day one day. I ate frosting from the can. It's not really that good, but it was sweet. I had popcorn with butter an average of once per day (twice on Sunday). Nary a vegetable nor fruit crossed my lips. I had access to both. Tomatoes from my garden, apples from my neighbor's, salad mix from the store. Cucumbers. Peppers. Healthy things spoiled in my refrigerator while I foraged for something to fill up my emotional hole.

Emotional holes can't get filled by food.

My sweet niece Jennie shared this thought from a talk by Richard G Scott, an LDS church leader, with me:
"Simple, consistent, good habits lead to a life full of bountiful blessings.
We can learn, grow and become like Him one consistent step at a time."

Regardless of religion, this thought contains truth. I need to get back to simple, consistent, good habits.

Today I ate fresh vegetables. Lots of them. I like vegetables and can consistently eat them.

I love how I feel today. I love who I am today.

That's a start, right?

And, by the way, thank you for your support. Blogging really does help me--because you take the time to read and to care. I genuinely appreciate you.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

277: I'm Gonna Have to Re-think This...

Of course, I partied all weekend. I went to three movies, watched a ton of television, sat around and ate. Movie popcorn with extra butter, chocolate covered cinnamon bears, pizza, nachos...and I didn't track anything.

That's my quick update. I had breakfast today at 8:00 and haven't decided whether I'm Medifasting or FastDieting.

In my experience, I am successful on a specific diet program the first time I do it. When I return to it, I'm not as successful. I think that's because I've figured out how to 'bend' the rules and still lose. With that attitude and approach, I don't know if I can Medifast...but I have a bunch of Medifast food. Oh, and I like how I feel on it. Oh, and it's easy to follow.

I just don't know which direction to turn. I want to be healthy so my body doesn't ache all the time. I want to be healthy because I'm worth it.

I'm stressed today. Sorry to be a downer. I just don't believe in myself right now as far as making good food choices. That makes me sad. I'm a good person and I deserve to be a better friend to myself.

Harrumph. Sigh.