Monday, November 26, 2012

254.4: Disneyland and California Dreamin'

It was a lovely vacation! My sister's children, spouses and their kids spent a week in Anaheim. We rented a house a few miles from Disneyland. The house was great--enough beds for all the adults to sleep well, a pool and hot tub, and two separate entertainment/game rooms. There were 11 adults and 4 kids (13 months to 6 years) there. We met at the house on Monday and stayed until Sunday morning. Heavenly!

We ate well. And by well I mean yummy food. I took my Medifast meals with me, but I didn't use 'em. I ate too much and not often enough. Still, I was more active than normal. I'm not beating myself up about it.

I only made one day of Disneyland. It was so much fun to ride many rides and be with everyone, but my knees (especially the one that hasn't been replaced) just didn't like the walking, standing, and cramped ride space. I was so sad to miss out on day two, but I would have been miserable.

I'm back on program. With a vengeance. I also plan to begin working out again--weight lifting and stationary bike riding. I want to concentrate on strengthening my leg muscles and improving flexibility.

Monday, November 5, 2012

251.6: Recovery!

I had my gallbladder removed Friday. It was scheduled for Election Day, but I called on Thursday to check how the waiting list worked and they decided to move me earlier. It was a relief because I've been stressed and sick and ready to put this behind me.

I couldn't sleep. After a couple of hours of tossing and turning, I finally just got up. I worked on a few projects at home, then ran some errands to the library and Walmart. Yup, I was one of those 3:00 a.m. Walmart customers.

So, Anita picked me up at 5:25 a.m. and they wheeled me up at about 7:15. I had a moment waiting outside the o.r. where I just felt so alone. Abandoned. All the medical professionals were scurrying about to begin their shift and I was just a piece of furniture. It freaked me out that I was emotional because I've had so many knee scopes over the last decade that outpatient surgery is not a big deal to me. Then I realized this was the first surgery in a decade (or more) that wasn't being done by my amazing ortho doc (turns out he doesn't do gallbladders).

Once the anaesthesiologist gave me the sleepy drugs, I had about four minutes of consciousness to be wheeled in, move to the surgical table, and make small talk. I woke up in recovery with a pain in my gut and some nausea, but feeling pretty pleased. I was so relieved the surgery had gone well and I didn't end up being opened up. At around 10:15 I was wheeled to the post-surgery room and texted my friend Cathi that she could come get me whenever. She works not too far from the hospital. We left around 11:30 and I was home by noon. Lovely to be home!

I thought I'd sleep, but I was wired. Dang! My outside stomach was sore, but I kept ice on it which helped tons. My inside stomach wasn't doing anything. I was nervous to eat anything because I'd read that many people suffer a ton right after the surgery, but I wanted to take a pain pill and knew I had to eat something. Plus I was hungry! I very cautiously nibbled on some of my Medifast Bites (seemed like the closest thing to a cracker) and took a pain pill. The food stayed down. Yay! I also had a tiny bit of broth. By about 8 p.m. I was craving food and sleep. Why couldn't I sleep? Arghh! My incisions felt okay--a bit swollen, but not too much pain. I texted Anita and Cathi and they came through for me again with turkey and mashed potatoes (Cathi) and a Wendy's potato (Anita). I cautiously tasted a very small bit of each and felt okay. Loene came to Bonnie-sit around 9:30. I decided to try to lay down in bed and see if I could sleep. Wasn't sure how comfortable I could be with the incisions and I was pleasantly surprised to find some comfortable sleeping angles. I wouldn't say it was the most stellar night of sleep, but I was refreshed the next morning.

Saturday was more cautious eating and a couple of trips in Loene's car. The bumps in the road were uncomfortable, but I felt okay. Mostly I just felt tired. And desperate--my inside plumbing needed a jump start. Luckily, all that was resolved. I was able to manage the pain with Tylenol. I love it when I don't need the heavy duty stuff!

Sunday was more of the same--eating, drinking, napping, visiting with family and friends. I am soooo tired. Anesthesia side effects, I'm sure.

Today I continue to feel great. My incision site pain feels more like sore muscles. Every once in a while I get a stitch in my side, but nothing I can't handle. I have a small " list which I'm going to work at a bit at a time to test my strength.

I feel blessed. Very blessed.

Friday, October 26, 2012

254.8: One Direction--not sweet music

One direction. That seems to describe my daily scale results. Up. The scale is reflecting my eating behavior. I am nibbling my way up. I can fight this, I really can! I like the feeling of an empty, growly tummy. I like not feeling sick all the time. The Medifast meals don't get my gallbladder going--it's all the other stuff I've been stuffing myself with.

I deserve better. The chapter in Life is Hard, Food is Easy that I'm working on is all about identifying needs. Not an easy chapter. It's hard to sit down and write "I need this" because 1) I feel ungrateful  and 2) seeing what I need makes me feel sad. I don't like to feel sad, so I eat.

One thing I need is to put an end to self sabatoge with my diet. So this morning I 'purged' my kitchen before leaving for work.

Bread? In the freezer for my sister to eat when she comes to tend me after the gallbladder surgery. Peanut butter? On the table to be given to my neighbor for her 2 year old.
Butterscotch and chocolate chips? In the freezer because I can't bear to throw them out!
Potato cheese soup? Ready to take to my other neighbor tonight.
Mozarella and sharp cheese? In the freezer for limited use in Lean and Green recipes.

I need honesty. I tracked my food and weight on Medifast's system for the first time since September 25.

I need (and have) support from my family and friends. Good news: my dieting focus is paying off for my sisters and brother. Loene (my sister who was supposed to be born on Halloween and would have been Hal if she were a boy-true story) called last night. Since the sister party in August, she has lost 35 pounds. My other sister lost 10 (that's all she had to lose). Now our brother, Alan, has lost 5 pounds. I'm so excited for them! I also have amazing friends who applaud my efforts, so I'm covered in this area.

I'm going to write again tonight--evenings seem to be a stumbling block for me right now.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

252.2: Feeding the Pain?

I have a gall stone. The gall! It's the size of a marble--the big ones that were the envy of all the boys in my elementary school. Are marbles even around anymore? Hmm.

Yup! They are. Interesting.

Anyway, mine's the big one. The doc says I've been cooking it for 15 years. Niiiice.

It lodges in an odd place and blocks off my liver sometimes (that's my interpretation of what the doc said) and it hurts. A lot. A lot a lot. I've missed work in the past three weeks and feel like every time I eat it's Russian Roulette. I know I'll be sick, but a lot sick or a little sick? Ahh, the joy. Turns out they're gonna remove the gallbladder and stone and relieve me of this little food game.

The surgery is laparoscopic and is scheduled for Tuesday, November 6. I should be back at work by the next Monday if all goes as planned.

Meanwhile, I've gained weight. To be fair, I'm in my usual 'bounce' of 3-4 pounds up and down so it's more accurate to say I'm not eating well. I'm so far off Medifast that I'll need a Sherpa to guide me back! Why? The Medifast food isn't making me sick, so that's not it. Nope. I've reverted to some old behaviors of using food as a reward or comfort. I'm sick, so I deserve a treat. The truly insane thing is the treats I eat make me sick. Don't judge--didn't I admit to a bit of insanity?

This morning I woke up at 4 AM feeling quite unwell. I couldn't sleep, so I dug out one of my bibliotherapy books--Life is Hard, Food is Easy (Linda Spangle) and worked on a few chapters. I am so pleased with myself! Instead of using the next two weeks to dig myself into a habit hole (not to mention pull the roulette trigger), I'm going to do some self work.

I love having a plan!

Today's assignment: "At my best, here's how I am..."

At my best, here's how I am:
  • Loving, confident and approachable
  • Fun-filled, intelligent and friendly
  • Capable, reliable and trustworthy
  • Generous with my time
  • A good boss and employee
  • Insightful, thoughtful and sensitive 

Friday, October 12, 2012

249: Holding Strong

Hi! It's been a week with all sorts of tempting diet busters. Some I've ignored, others I've succumbed to. A homemade chocolate eclair. A bag of miniature Baby Ruth bars. Sweet potato fries. A red velvet cupcake--full of gluten. Wow, looks like I succumbed more than I ignore

Still, I'm holding strong. I'm giving my brain a chance to catch up to my body. No science to back this up, but if my brain and body want to chill between 247-249 right now, I'm okay with that. It wasn't too many months ago when that chill factor was 282-286, then it became 272-275. That's progress! I won't lie--this is hard. I'm not hungry, ever. I do get cravey. I'm back to reading my food addiction books and have found help and comfort there.

Looks like my gall bladder needs to come out. I had an ultrasound on Wednesday and the doctor's office called on Thursday. I meet with the surgeon on Halloween and if I have an attack before then, I'm supposed to go the an ER. My gall bladder isn't diseased, but I guess once you begin to have issues with it, it's best to just get the thing out. Hmm.

If you were hoping to read a non-stop thrill ride of rapid weight loss and life lessons, this post is lacking in both. (Smiley face.) If you wanted to check in on me, you got it!

Monday, October 8, 2012

248.6: The Good Side of Sick

Last Tuesday after lunch I got such a stomach ache (I want to write that stom-ache to be efficient) that I had to leave work early because I was so miserable--I thought it may be the flu, but the problem was pain, not flu-ey. I stayed home Wednesday, went to work on Thursday, and ended up leaving right after lunch due to what I eloquently called a pain in my gut. A bend-over and can't breathe pain. Between Dr. Google, my sisters and friends we've diagnosed it as gallbladder related. I'm going to the doc tomorrow for a second opinion... I have had to be very careful about what I eat so as to not wake the sleeping beast. At least I'm losing weight! The Medifast meals don't create any issues, so I've stuck pretty close to them with little else in addition.

I did make some yummy soup yesterday while I was watching LDS general conference. It was yummy and filling--and didn't make me sick. Yay! Here's the recipe:

1 can black beans
1 can corn, undrained
1 can Rotel, undrained
1 package ranch dressing mix
1 tsp cumin
1 Tbsp chili powder
1 tsp onion powder
1 8 oz package light cream cheese
2 chicken breasts

Drain and rinse black beans. Place chicken at bottom of pot, then pour out whole can of corn (undrained), rotel, and black beans. Top with seasonings and ranch mix. Stir together. Place cream cheese on top. Cover with lid and cook on low for 6-8 hours. Stir cream cheese into chili. Use 2 forks to shred chicken. Stir together and serve.

It's from and I pinned it then immediately made it. My crockpot is out of commission, so I made it on the stove top and it worked super well.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

251.6: Results!

I'm nearly convinced to put in another Medifast order. It's only money, right? Hah! I wonder what it would feel like to do things without worrying about the cash aspect. Sigh...

Last night and today were intense work days. Days that leave me seeking food as a comfort, a motivator, or a reward. I am so pleased to report that I have stayed firm!

It wasn't easy. Last night I chose to go for a drive and see the lovely Utah mountains with the leaves changing colors and the smell of autumn so pungent I could nearly taste it. My friend Rosann and her dog Salsa joined me in what I like to call a "quest to find fall foliage." Even though my phone camera isn't the best, I had to share!

Check back tomorrow--I know I'll be down another pound. Maybe more!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

252.6: Time to Renew!

Happy Fall! I love, love, love this time of year. Fall has always been, for me, a time of renewal and review. Time to start again.

So, I've contacted my Medifast coach. Here's what I said:

Hi Mary,

I’m going to contact you for the next three days as I strive one more time to reach a fat-burning state. For the past 5 weeks I’ve just lingered on the edge of the program. I can string together two days, then I give in to the carb temptation—either with salty things like mashed potatoes, fries, chips or sweet stuff like chocolate. I’ve been travelling and such, but that’s over for a while.

I really like Medifast, but I’m going to discontinue if I can’t get myself going again. I feel like I’m throwing away money if I can’t get myself to stay on program.

Here’s what I’m going to do daily:

1) Eat every 2.5 hours

2) Track food in Support in Motion

3) Do at least 30 minutes of work in the workbook

I’ll check back in tomorrow.


Thursday, September 20, 2012

249.8: Super Yay!

Happy dance, happy dance, and more happy dance!

The scale went as high as 257 last week at Founder's. I'm so glad to have put that behind me! I truly didn't just eat with abandon, but the combination of a very tired Bonnie and easily available candy was pretty compelling. And I had french fries several times. I did keep my water intake up and rarely had caffeine. That's a big ol' victory.

I leave for Chattanooga tomorrow. I know I can keep to the Medifast program while I'm there--it's a quick trip and I'm nearly to my 'zen' fat-burning state again. I'm currently battling the third day of de-carbing and it's a killer. Seeing that scale victory is amazingly reviving, so I can stick with it.

Okay, gotta get to work! No, really, I have a meeting to go to...

Thursday, September 13, 2012

254.6: Miracle or Coincidence

Yesterday's food report: I ate too much and the wrong stuff, but I'm not going to beat myself up. 'Nuff said.

I want to blog while the day is fresh, so no pictures yet (technical difficulties).

I had a great, short conversation with Robin Merriman. She commented that I am way too hard on myself which was a great reminder that I need to practice positive self talk. I was taught to do that in therapy a few years ago, but I've slipped lately. Robin subscribes to a daily meditation and hers for the day was about not trashing ourselves. Miracle or coincidence?

Then I saw Jackie Bolhuis who has lost 60 pounds--the last 30 of which have been on the Medifast program! She was so inspiring to talk to. She's very diligent and in fat burning and reminded me that this is easy. Very easy. Just do it. Miracle or coincidence?

You decide...

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

253.6: On the job eating

I'm working away from home this week in sunny St. George, Utah. It's a beautiful place and I love my job. This annual trip does pose some healthy eating obstacles--like I hang out most of the day in a converted hotel ballroom surrounded by jars of candy. Luckily sugar isn't my biggest weakness!

Here's my plan for the day:
8:00: Medifast Meal #1
10:00: Medifast Meal #2
1:00: Medifast Meal #3 and a portabella pressed sandwich (1/3 lean and green)
3:30: Medifast Meal #4
7:00: Lean and green dinner
10:00: Medifast Meal #5

I'm gonna write what I bite, scribble what I nibble and ink what I drink! I'll take a picture of my food journal at the end of the day. Also, I commit to taking a photo of any non-program food I eat. That will help me stay on track! 

I brought my scale with me, so I'll post my daily ups and (hopefully) downs.

Oh, it's also a special hormonal time this week, so how about I add that to my challenge list?

Thursday, September 6, 2012

252: The Battle of the Bulge Continues

Hi! I've delayed posting because I kept hoping for a lower number on the scale. Now that's just nonsense. This blog is about the journey, not the destination. I am on a very windy trail with switchbacks, not a one way road. I get so black and white about progress that I lose track of that sometimes.

I'm tired of Medifast. Or maybe I'm just tired of constantly fighting my addiction to food. It's exhausting sometimes. So much easier to just give in, eat what I want and not feel guilty about it.

The problem is, I would pay for it. Not just with additional pounds, but with an intense disappointment in myself.

I know I can do this. Maybe Medifast got me started and I am ready for a different approach now. Regardless of my choice of armour, I will continue to battle the obesity giant!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

257.4: The Truth Delayed...

Delayed carb loading weight from Sunday? I'm guessing...

Hittin' it hard, folks! This gal aint-a-gonna give up without a fight...

Monday, August 20, 2012

254.4: Slippery Slope Saturday and Hard Core Carb Sunday

When I weighed this morning I was prepared for the worst. If 254.4 is the worst, I'm relieved.

You may be asking, "Why are you relieved? You didn't lose weight."

Allow me to elaborate. Last week was the hardest I've had since I began Medifast in June. I know it's because I've been 'sneaking' bites of this and that for a while. I tried really hard last week, but the hormones made it super-duper hard. Whine. Blame. Still, I saw 252.4 on the scale and I hoped to see 249.something by Sunday.

Friday I began to detour from my path to success. I was shopping at Target and picked up a Lindt caramel sea salt milk chocolate bar. Mistake #1, but I thought maybe a small bite of quality chocolate would help me scratch my itch. As I was shopping, I saw some ice cream toppings (little jars of peanut butter chips and sprinkles and chocolate chips and sprinkles) that looked tasty for a bit of sweet treat so I chose those instead of the candy bar. Mistake #2; twice the calories and half the quality. I ate much of one jar on the way home from the store--even though there were some cookie bits (gluten) in with the chocolate and sprinkles--mistake #3.

I made a taco bar for me and a friend on Saturday. I had chicken and beef fillings, crispy taco shells and all the fixin's including guacamole, cheese, rice and beans. Oh, and chips. Yummy chips. You know how I am with salty stuff... Made myself a taco salad and felt pretty darn good about things. Sent leftovers home with my friend and again felt pretty darn good about things. Then I saw the bag of chips. Yummy chips. What? How did I miss those? Did you know chips and cheese = nachos? I had nachos Saturday night.

...and three times on Sunday. To make matters worse, on Sunday I finished both jars of ice cream toppings and only had 32 ounces of water to drink. I didn't eat even one Medifast meal. Not one. I also didn't eat enough protein. By Sunday evening I had a terrible headache. I'd been fighting a cold since Saturday morning and the carb-fest didn't help at all.

Back on track today. Have had three Medifast meals so far, my Lean and Green, and 98 ounces of water. I'm hanging out with friends stamping and swimming, so there have been treats. I've done quite well--not 100% but much better than yesterday. Things can only get better, huh?

I hope so!

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

254.6: Grumpiness vs. Happines

I am fighting the PMS grumps today. Hair looks bad; stringy and flat. Glasses are buggin'. Clothes are touching me in too many places. I'm hot, I'm cold, it's muggy in the training room so I'm not attending the rehearsals. Whine, whine, whine.

Food? Well I polished off a jar of peanut butter and ate a half a can of wasabi almonds last night--finished the almonds on the way to work. That's a measly 1200 calories of nuts. ARGH!

I've smiled at myself in the mirror. My cubicle buddy Tyler gave me a smiley face on a post-it note. Rick told me my hair looks fine.

I am responsible for the energy I bring with me today. I need positive energy myself.

I choose to be happy.

I think.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

253: Back to Work (In Many Ways)

Still losing! I love that.

I took Monday-Wednesday off work to hang out with my sisters. We are working on a chapter about our grandma for a family book and we put it off so long it required a bit of sequestering to accomplish the task.

I was a little worried about sticking to my Medifast program, but the opposite happened. On Monday I just did my thing, so Tuesday and Wednesday the sisters joined me! They didn't have Medifast meals of course, but we did our best to match the nutritional value with other 'meals'. It really helped me to have their support, and they genuinely are excited about it. Both of them are still at it. Yay!

I've been a little loose with my program this week, so I'm back to paying attention to the details.

All is well!

Friday, August 3, 2012

257.8: Tripped up by a trip, I guess...

I'm in a bit of scale shock this morning. I do wonder if it's a bit skewed because of flying on Wednesday, but I assumed by today any water retention would be gone. I admit to not being 100% diligent while on vacation.

I left last Saturday for a short trip to Bristow, Virginia. It was wonderful to see Katie, Tamsin, Emma and Sam. My intent for the visit was to do just that--visit. I miss having them closer to Utah where I could see them more often. We shopped, watched the Olympics and Bunheads, rented a couple of movies, played with Emma and laughed at her continual quirkiness, talked, relaxed and ate super yummy bacon wrapped chicken. Oh, we did throw in a visit to Mt. Vernon (or Mountain Vernon as Emma calls it) since it's only about 40 minutes from Tamsin's home. It was cool to learn more about George Washington and to see the home. We had a great time there!

How did Medifast go while tripping? Well, let's see.... For the flights over and back, I made pancakes and brownies ahead of time, then also ate some of the Nacho Cheese Puffs. I chose these instead of shakes just because they were a bit more portable and shaking up a drink on a plane felt kind of, oh, I don't know, attention-grabbing? So, it wasn't hard to stay on track in the airports and such. On the flights over I did have 4 packages of peanuts (two on each flight). On the way back, on one flight I had a package of peanuts and the other flight I ate one Bischoff cookie--oh, and spicy tomato juice which I think has sugar in it...

I didn't drink nearly as much water as I have been. Most days I drink 128 oz. By the way, if you're not impressed by that, you should be... :) Anywho, I averaged was between 32 and 48 oz while I was there. My fault. I also had nibbles of popcorn--I'd guess (that say's it all--"I'd guess") a total of 1 cup with butter, 4 of Katie's gluten-free sugar cookies (spelling out London and with the Olympic rings in honor of the Olympics) over a span of three days, 4 Dorito taco flavored chips, 3 strawberries, 1/4 cup of mashed potatoes at least 4 times (it would be easier to say 1 cup, but I'm painting a picture here folks), 2 slices of bacon, 3 miniature marshmallows, about 10 chips with salsa when we went to lunch, 10 french fries...that's all I can think of to list right now. Geesh! I wonder what I ate that I can't even remember.

Wow. The list makes it easier to see the reason I gained. So, today begins the three days it takes to get back into fat burning mode. I'm on a quest!

Monday, July 23, 2012

255.6: 30 Pound Benchmark

30 pounds in 6.5 weeks! What? I am flying sooo high today!

I've spent the past two days sleeping, eating, recovering from convention and drinking tons of water. Tons. I think that's key right now. When I keep myself hydrated, I stay on track.

There's so much weight ahead of me to lose. I rejoice in what I've done, but I have to stay focused on my end goal. I am morbidly obese (I really hate that designation, but it's accurate) and in danger of a myriad of diseases, strokes or heart problems. I feel so much better now. I can't imagine what another 20, 40 or 60 pound loss will feel like--but I'm gonna find out. Yippykiyay!

I have to take up this cross every single day. No resting on my laurels--even if they're smaller now than they were 6 weeks ago.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

259.4: Final, Fifty, and Food Fotos (see what I did there?)

I was able to sleep in 'til 8. Way in compared to the 6 a.m. mornings this week. It was lovely! Ronda and Tami taught our class two more times. The attendees were so enthusiastic! It was a great way to end our portion of convention. After lunch we had our final session which was wonderful--filled with surprises, stamping and fun. For the first time, we streamed a part of convention. We wanted to try out the system we hope to use more in the future, and since our 2014 incentive trip is global, we thought this was a good time to try it out. We included Sara Douglass' (Shelli Gardner's daughter) stamping presentation as part of the streaming.

I had to dash as soon as the session was over. Anita, my bestie, turned 50 today. I had collected fifty greetings from friends old and new and attached them to fifty balloons. We had a fabulous dinner at Alyson's house, then I came home to crash and wrap up my day.

I took photos of my non-Medifast convention nibbles. Here you go:

Lunch was sliders--so I had a bit of brat, chicken and hamburger. I also had three potato chips, 1 tablespoon of potato salad, and some green salad with dressing. Pretty good Lean and Green/

A bit of pizza from the Gardner Green room. I ate it before I took a picture, so I had to get a second piece and have Sara Douglass hold it while I took the photo. Bad pic, but evidence.

Shannon had cinnamon bears and chocolate. I had this 3x but will only show you one picture!

Friday, July 20, 2012

259.8: A Mini Meltdown

True confession: I weighed twice. The first time was 260.4, but I refused to believe it. So I weighed again and didn't go for a third as a confirmation. Silly behavior!

I was 'off' this morning. I slept well last night, so I felt rested but just 'off.' I hemmed a new pair of pants last night, ironed them, then finally put them on this morning to discover they were quite snug. Put my contacts in and found a rip in my contact.

Nothing too life shattering, right?

I presented this morning. What does that mean? In a nutshell, I had 25 minutes to show six projects and help 3400 Stampin' Up! demonstrators see what great things they can make with our products. I love presenting. I love stamping. No problem, right? Wrong. I was on hormone overdrive (both the monthly and the menopausal kind) and felt more and more inadequate as the morning wore on.

The demonstrator response was positive--of course if they didn't like me, they wouldn't come up and tell me! It's ironic that the most consistent comment is, "You are just so funny." I didn't feel too funny most of the morning. What if, all of a sudden, the funny leaves or goes out of style? What if my funny overshadows the stamping? I genuinely love the Stampin' Up! staff and demonstrators and would be very sad to let them down. I know, of course, not every person's going to like me. I just feel like it's my job to be the best I can be at an event, and this morning the fatigue and stress caught up with me.

What a lot of emotion. It's exhausting sometimes. I share my experience because I know I'm not the only one who goes through bouts of self doubt and feelings of inadequacy.

How did this translate in terms of dieting? I actually did fairly well, but my literal and physical gut says I ate more than I'm admitting to. Tomorrow I plan to take pictures of every non Medifast food item I eat...

Thursday, July 19, 2012


I got on the scale twice. Arghh. Still, weighing every day brings ups and downs. Today was the best food and water day this week, so we'll see what tomorrow's scale visit brings.
It was a great day. Our opening session was off the charts--the opening video is amazing! Let's see if I'm smart enough to link to it...

I'll be surprised if that works--doesn't look right, but it took me twenty minutes to even try. Go to YouTube and search for Stampin' Up! convention video. It was a blast to be part of!

We had two classes today. All I do is kind of host the class. Ronda Wade and Tami White are sharing tips about how they run their SU businesses. They did a great job. I dashed to Memento Mall during lunch and to help for a bit, but I didn't last long. After our afternoon class, I got dolled up and joined Holly Linford for a duet. Don't know how good we sounded, but it was very fun. Dinner, then Awards Night.

Love my job; love convention!

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

261: Convention Check In Day

The scale wasn't kind this morning but I'm okay with it. Today was a busy, busy, busy day. Did I say busy? Cuz it was. Lots of behind the scenes work; class rehearsals, setting up for night stamping classes, hugging friends, smiling at friends-to-be, and preparing for classes tomorrow. I'm tuckered out!
It was easy to stay on my Medifast program today. I did have two potato chips with bacon dip at lunch, but otherwise I was happy with my Medifast food. For dinner I had salmon, roasted veggies, and caprese salad. I'm certain mozzarella isn't on my list of Lean and Green right now...and the salmon and veggies were prepared with some oil or butter, but overall I'm feeling okay both physically and emotionally. I also forgot to eat my 3:00 meal until nearly 4:30. I was just...busy.

The most amazing part of today was all the supportive friends who commented on my progress and efforts. I am feeling so motivated by their encouragement! That social support means so much to me...especially from friends who are on the same journey. Jennifer--you started it all and made my day. Really and truly.

Okay, I'm ready to hit the hay. I've got more chapters in The Game of Thrones to read before I close my eyes. I'm kind of eager to see the scale in the morning--lots of dashing to and fro today (doesn't that count as exercise?).

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

259.8: Convention Tuesday

Love that number! Happy dance and squeal of delight!

Today was rehearsal day for convention, so I was at the Salt Palace from 8:00 'til 5:00. I was able to stick to the Medifast program quite well during the day, then I began to crumble once I got home. I think it was a case of falling back into old habits--I 'deserved' a treat because I'd been 'good' all day. Anyway, I stopped for a chicken kabob to get my protein for the day (I had salad for lunch, but very little meat) thing I know I have ordered fries also. I ate both chicken kabobs (should have stopped at one), seven fries, 14 M&Ms and seven Hot Tamales, and six roasted almonds. Arghh. I currently feel yuck-o. Heartburn. Letdown.

I plan to write every day this week.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

263.4 The Many Faces of Support

I've decided to start every title with my current weight. :)

I drove to Logan on Friday to visit my nephews and their families who were here for the 4th of July. It was so much fun to see them. I packed a cooler with ice, water and celery stalks so I could make my shakes and stay on track. Did quite well until we went to a pizza/pasta buffet for dinner. I didn't eat pasta or pizza crusts, but my protein was mostly cheese and fat laden processed meats like pepperoni, ham and sausage. Not the best, but it could have been worse. Jessica and Lyndsay were so supportive of me and my progress. Thanks gals! My sister Annette has been cheerleading me all the way. I swear she's as excited as I am about my success.

My friends Cathi, Anita and Rosann are super supportive. I feel lucky to have such good friends. They are the first to give me a holla or a woot woot when I text my progress. I also belong to a Facebook group of Stampin' Up! related friends who are working on losing weight. Reading about their daily struggles keeps me going.

I had the best talk with Medifast Mary yesterday. As I shared my nibbling, she helped me see that even noshing on benign things like tomatoes and zucchini can sabotage my efforts. My body needs to tap into its fat stores for the extra calories I'm not eating and it will only do that if I stick with the diet. When I eat extra food I keep my body from operating efficiently. Her words: If you modify the program, you modify the results. So I'm sticking with the fairly straightforward Lean & Green recipes she gave me.

It takes a village for Bonnie to lose weight. Good thing I have one!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

20 pounds in 4 Weeks. I Wouldn't Lie to You!

I did a happy dance when the scale read 265.8 this morning. I've been playing with the same 2-3 pounds for the past 10 days. I kept praying to just see 266.anything--I would have celebrated. So to skip that number completely makes me super-dee-duper happy. It's just a number, but one I'm hoping not to see again.

By the way last time I weighed 265 was April of 2001.  

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

My week 4 weigh in is tomorrow. I really can't believe it's been a month. Has it? I'm hoping to hit my twenty pound down mark. If I don't, that's okay too. Can you tell I'm talking myself into that?

The last weekend was hard for me. I didn't manage my nibbling very well. I wasn't munching on nachos or chocolate, but I couldn't stop picking at pickles, celery, walnuts, tomatoes and fresh mozzarella, olives, zucchini chips, kale chips.... Got the idea? I can have three celery stalks or two pickle spears or 8 olives or 10 walnut halves a day--but not all on the same day! I also ate from emotions instead of hunger. I was stressed, bored, overwhelmed and lonely all mixed up in a casserole of crazy.

Here's what I learned. No matter how delicious the photo of zucchini chips looks, they're not worth the time. They end up tasting quite good, but it seriously takes 4 hours to make chips from one zucchini--and they end up the size of a nickle. Kale, on the other hand, takes 10 minutes on 350 and is tasty. I wouldn't call 'em chips, but crunchy bits of veg with some season salt. Not too bad.

I think I'm being a bit of a loner right now. It's hard to balance eating at friends' or going to lunch and  testing my self control and I just don't want to put myself in a hard situation. I think that will get better. I hope so! On Thursday I joined some old friends for a late lunch/early dinner. I found myself feeling a bit bitter as I watched them eating pizza. I was sooo hungry. Okay, I wanted pizza soooo much. I should have just brought my own lean and green food. These friends would have totally supported me. Duh!

Friday, June 29, 2012

The Results are In!

First let me report on my science fair experiment (sorry Cathi, no poster!). I got SICK. Soooo sick. Pain in my gut, please let me throw up or die sick. Couldn't sleep sick. Then sick because I couldn't sleep.

I should confess that the evening of the sushi lunch I took a friend to dinner for her birthday. I ate the fish and cabbage from two fish tacos. The fish was ono (very tasty, like halibut in firmness and not fishiness) and was lightly coated/breaded. Oops.

I'm not doing that again. I'm not sure if the sick was from too many carbohydrates all at once, too many calories total for the day, or gluten. To tell the truth, I don't care. I won't be doing more science experiments to isolate the causality of the SICK. You'll just have to deal with the ambiguity!

I finished week three with a two pound weight loss bringing me to a total of 18 pounds (I've lost one more since then). I'm feeling pretty darn good about my progress and choices.

It's surprising how when something clicks; it works. Wait. That makes it sound like this is all luck. I guess I mean that I hit the proverbial 'rock bottom' this time--not because of a number on the scale, but because of poor health as a result of poor eating habits. So because I was ready and determined to make a change, Medifast has been a perfect fit for me right now. I truly feel I was inspired to look at the website and take the plunge.

Why this is working:
1) The time of year--shakes and drinks are perfect for hot days. A brownie is perfect anytime.
2) The support system--family, friends, colleagues and my Medifast coach.
3) Having a meal every 2-3 hours. My glucose levels are stable--no peaks and valleys.
4) I have a big event in a few weeks--a nice motivation.
5) I am seeing results nearly every day.
6) I've been diligently recording my meals on the Support in Motion site for Medifast users.

My sister Loene lost 100 pounds when she was 50. I'm looking forward to sharing that accomplishment with her! She proved that even if you're "older" or going through hormonal fluctuations, weight loss can be a reality.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Sushi and Me on Week Three

Today at lunch I had sushi. I knew we were heading to lunch to celebrate my friend Jill's birthday. That was cool--Lean and Green all the way, right? When I found out we were going for sushi I knew I was in trouble. Here's why:

1) I love sushi.
2) Sushi is pricey. When my boss is payin', I'm eatin'.
3) I'm not a super knowledgeable sushi-ite, so going with experienced 'roll'ers makes it fun.
4) I don't have many friends who like sushi, so it's a treat on many levels to have a sushi lunch.

I wanted to order a dry chicken breast and a salad. No I didn't! Who wants a dry chicken breast and a salad? Still, that's what I planned to order, then eat maybe one (or two) pieces of sushi.

No chicken. Sushi. Ten pieces of Mexican, TNT, and various sushi rolls with names I don't remember.

Yummy. Not too disastrous calorically, but waaaaay too many carbs. It will be interesting to see how this impacts me. Scale? Energy? Cravings?

I'm choosing to analyze the fallout from my sushi lunch as a science experiment. My hypotheses are: 1) My weight will remain the same, 2) My cravings will increase, and 3) I will feel head-achey and sinus pressure-y.

Will Mr. VandenBosch (my 8th grade science teacher) want me to make a poster board display of my findings?

Monday, June 25, 2012

Yummy Pizza and 3 Pounds

I had a good Saturday and Sunday and I'm down three pounds (the two I gained plus one more). It feels good to welcome the last three days of the week with good momentum. Plus, the food routine at work makes dieting easier.

I made pizza with cauliflower as the crust--and it was very, very good. Not like real pizza crust, but since I can't eat that anyway (Celiac disease), I'm always on the hunt for a substitute. I found a great GF crust at Whole Foods, but the calories are astronomical - people don't realize that non-wheat flour can be three times the calories as the wheat kind. So when Medifast Mary sent me a recipe for pizza made with cauliflower, I was skeptical. Then I saw similar recipes on Pinterest, so I decided to go for it.

I was floored. Here's a link to the blog where I got my recipe:

I topped mine with pizza sauce, turkey pepperoni, and low fat mozzarella cheese. Best part? The entire pizza counted as my Lean and Green! Yup, I ate the whole thing. It makes a nine inch pizza. Tasty!

Oh, I couldn't find a 'no sugar added' pizza sauce, so here's the simple sauce I made:
1/2 cup diced canned tomatoes (no juice)
1 tsp. Italian seasoning
1/8 tsp garlic powder
1/4 tsp red pepper flakes
Blend all ingredients until smooth (I use a Bullet type blender). It's kind of runny, so you could cook it to reduce some moisture, but I used it as is and loved it!

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Bump in the Medifast Road

I weigh every day. Thursday I had lost six more pounds (for a total of 16)--yay for Week 2 on Medifast! It was certainly easier than Week 1. It seems like I'm getting into a rhythm that I can sustain. I really wondered those first few days how I could keep myself motivated.

Losing weight is motivating. 

Today I gained two pounds. I weigh myself every day, so I'm very aware that weight can fluctuate for various and sundry reasons. I know my patterns and this gain fits my patterns. Still, my first reaction is to say, "Really? If I'm gonna gain 2 pounds, I wanna enjoy the journey to that gain. Where's the chocolate? Where are the sweet potato fries? I gained two pounds eating Medifast and Lean & Green?"

Gaining weight is enervating.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Weekend Report and Medifast Week 2

After a great week 1 on Medifast, I was feelin' all sorts of cocky.

I had a rough patch at work on Thursday--just didn't lead a meeting very successfully and was feeling emotional about it, but I had plans to join some friends who were scrapbooking Thursday night and Friday all day which gave me something to look forward to.  

Thursday night at my friend's house I accidentally made my shake with the water I had warmed for my soup (I like my soup much better if it sits for a few hours and I reheat it), so I was in a quandary. I couldn't eat the soup because it hadn't had time to 'stew' and I didn't want my shake I stuck it in the fridge at my friend's house and ended up waiting an extra hour to eat.

Friday morning I didn't get my first meal until about 9:30, which threw me off for the day. I usually eat breakfast at 7:30, so my meal schedule is 10, 12, 3, 6, then 8. With a late start, I just never found my groove--so I ended up with a meal at 10 p.m. which just felt wrong on many levels. Who knew an on-the-go meal plan could be so complex? Sheesh! The other issue with Friday was my water. I struggled to get 64 oz in. On a normal work day, I have 24 oz before I even get to work, then another 64 oz while I'm in the office. Not so on Friday. And I was kind of grumpy. I wanted to scrapbook, but didn't have my mojo going. I finally left at 4:00 and stopped at Carl's Jr. for my lean and green meal--figuring a lettuce wrapped burger would be fine. Then I changed my mind and got chicken, thinking that would be a healthier choice. It would have been, except the chicken was that pressed stuff, not a real chicken breast. Ick! Still, I was hungry, so I ate it. Oh, and they messed up, so I got it on a bun (threw it away). Okay, here's the real issue. I got a combo. With fries. You might ask, "Bonnie, what were you thinking?" I was thinking I wanted a Diet Coke with my meal and it would be just as cheap to just get a combo and I might just lick one french fry. I ate three fries. They were very, very good. It was a pain to figure out how many calories I'd eaten because I couldn't find anything online about three fries, so I weighed three remaining fries and figured out the ounces and estimated about 70 calories to account for the oil. Who knows?

Saturday I woke up early then fell asleep reading, so breakfast was at 10...which made for a repeat of the Friday 'off' schedule except I skipped my last meal instead of eating at 10 p.m. again. I ended up grocery shopping around 5 p.m. and bought some pine nuts because the Quick Start Guide says I can have 40 of them as a snack. I also bought fat free cheese and turkey pepperoni which are low in carbs but not in the Quick Start Guide. And I bought the wrong kind of pickles--Famous Dave's spicy which I thought meant dill, but are more bread and butter-ish. Yum! Yikes!

By the end of the day on Sunday I had eaten all the pine nuts, three slices of cheese and two pickle spears. I'm not beating myself up about it, but aiming for a clear look at my behavior. I really feel I was upset about the Thursday meeting and trying to find a way to cope with it--food has always been my best friend in situations like that.

The good news is yesterday I 'fixed' my Thursday mistake. And I pledge to 'eat clean' for the rest of week 2 on Medifast.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Medifast Day Seven

I'm nearly done with my first week on Medifast. It's been easier than I thought and as difficult as I thought. The breakthrough on Monday really has been encouraging. I've also found some ways to make the meals a bit more interesting and add variety to them without adding calories. Nifty! As of this morning I've lost 10 pounds. We'll see what the scale says tomorrow. Can't wait! How often does a person say that?

So in my quest online for recipes and such, I found a site called GetSkinnyBeHappy. The blogger of this site shared all sorts of tips, tricks and recipes...but I can't find a post later than 2010. I'm worried about him. In one post he said he'd lost his job but was still committed to the diet. What's he doing now?  Is it strange that I am concerned about this random person I've never met but whose blog was helpful to me? Probably.

Or maybe not. I'm invested in him because he's a fellow survivor of the first few days of Medifasting. And I want to know if this highly motivated person has kept of the weight he lost. Will I? Can I?

Okay, back to the here and now. First I need to finish this day and this week. Then I can worry about day 8 and week 2!

My Medifast meals for a day.

My way of organizing all the meals for the month.

A cute dog to make you smile!

Monday, June 11, 2012

Euphoria Delayed

Medifast Mary told me many clients experience a great feeling of euphoria the third day. I waited all day Sunday--no euphoria. Headache, fog, and food cravings, yes; euphoria, no. (Any grammarians out there? Please fix that sentence!)

Today around 11:00 I felt...different. Not as panicky about sustaining this. More confident I can keep it up. Not hungry. Actually, every time I turned around it was time to eat. Not a bad thing, eh? Finally, around 2:00 I decided to call the feeling euphoria and embrace it.

Nice feeling. I want to keep it.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

My Medifast Journey Begins

I'm on a DIET. After deciding I couldn't afford $15,000 for lap band surgery, I knew I needed to do something. I sought for higher power as I looked at my options, and the phrase 'aggressive dieting' kept coming to me, so I began to do some research into gluten free meal programs. I knew Jenny Craig still didn't offer gluten free meals, but I wanted to double check. I looked into Nutri-System also, then researched Medifast. Well knock me over with a feather! Medifast has a gluten free track of meals including brownies! After a quick prayer for guidance, I took the plunge and ordered 4 weeks of meals.

Here's the plan:
Every day I eat five 100-125 calorie 'meals' (one every 2-3 hours) and one "Lean and Green" meal of my own consisting of 5-7 oz of protein, 2 cups of non-starchy vegetables and a small amount of healthy oil. That's a total of between 800 - 900 calories per day.

Here's how it's going so far:
Thursday was a busy day at work, so I think that made my first day easy. I had eggs for breakfast-- powdered scrambled eggs with southwest spices. I was very surprised that they tasted good. I had a Cranberry Mango drink for my next meal at 10:30. It was okay--I thought it was a shake, so I wasn't blown away by the flavor and consistency. I ate Chicken and Wild Rice soup at 1:00. By then I had already drunk 60 oz of water, so I was pretty busy dashing to the ladies room every hour. My next meal was a chocolate shake which tasted exactly how I expected--satisfying. After work is where I ran into an trouble. I stopped at the store to stock my fridge with Lean and Green meal components and was feeling quite shaky and hungry by the time I finished. I ate my 6 oz of turkey on the way home, then made my green salad. At 7:30 I ate my brownie. Heaven! It's one of those 'make in the microwave and eat while it's hot' brownies--fudgey, warm, and very satisfying.

Friday was a bit less intense at work. I had a pancake for breakfast (tasted fine), then a shake. For lunch I ate a 6 oz chicken breast and 1/2 cup broccoli at Chili's. Tasty! I could have had a larger portion of vegetables, but I had dinner with book club that night so I wanted to save some 'green' for that. Before dinner I had my tomato soup meal, then I ate 2 cups of arugula at Settabello. Okay... that was torture. Sitting for 2 hours with friends who are eating authentic Italian style pizza and gelato and trying to make myself content with straight lettuce as my meal? I should get an Oscar for pulling that off!

Saturday was difficult. Without the routine and distraction of work, it was harder to control my cravings and emotional need for food to 'tame the savage beast.' Still, I did fine. I added two celery stalks and a package of Medifast Soy Crisp snacks to the menu and ate my Lean and Green meal at 3:30 instead of for dinner. It was the hardest day so far. I had a headache and lots of sinus pressure--probably has nothing to do with the diet, but that's how I felt physically. Emotionally I struggled, but I made it!

As of this morning I've lost 7 pounds! That's what I call aggressive. I know it won't be like this all the time, but it feels good  to see immediate results.

I prepared for this by doing the following:
1. I purged my fridge and cupboard of any non Medifast compliant food.
2. I deleted the Food Network from my favorites list on cable.
3. I only watched recorded television shows so I could skip food commercials.
4. I still got on Pinterest, but skipped the food pins.
5. I organized all my meals into reusable bags so I can grab and go for the next 5 weeks.
6. I told my family, friends and co-workers.
7. I signed up for a free Medifast coach (her name is Mary, so I call her Medifast Mary) and have spoken with her nearly every day.

So, that's the latest. I am full of hope.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

The Scope of a Scope

I had my left knee 'scoped' on Wednesday, May 16. The real name for the procedure is an arthroscopy I call this a manicure for my knee--the surgeon goes in and smooths over the rough edges of bones that have deteriorated due to arthritis. Those rough edges tear things like the meniscus and cartilage much like a torn fingernail snags on everything you touch.
By my rough calculations, this is the 7th knee scope I've had between the two knees. I thought I'd share what my recovery usually looks like by taking you through the past week. It was fairly typical of my past scopes.
My friend Cathi took the day off to be my 'person' (a la Grey's Anatomy). She picked me up at 7:45 and we were in the pre-surgery room by 8:30 with surgery scheduled for 9:30. That hour is always so long--different nurse types asking questions, checking blood pressure, dashing to and fro. Cathi saved some juicy family stories to entertain me with, but I was ready to crawl up the wall by the time the anesthesiologist came to talk to me. After that, everything moved quickly. I was wheeled to the operating room, made about 30 seconds of small talk with the surgeon, moved from the pre-op bed to the operating table, joked about how small the table was, then fell asleep. The recovery room is such a surprise--I just wanna sleep, but people are poking and prodding and talking way too loud to me, so I have to wake up. No knee pain, but a very sore throat. Do I want something to drink? Yes, a Diet Coke please. Thought the fizzy would help the throat. Wrong. Didn't help at all. I don't remember my throat hurting so much before, but it probably did. Back in the pre-surgery room talking to Cathi. Doc says the knee is trashed, probably the last scope before we do a TKR (total knee replacement). Yuck. Don't want to think about that right now. My throat hurts. After about 45 minutes, we leave. I ask Cathi to stop at the Dairy Queen for a milkshake-maybe that will help my throat. Home. Able to walk into the house with crutches. In bed, propped, on ice while Cathi goes to the store for my pain pills and a McDonald's run. Nice friend, huh? I know! Call and text friends that I survived and made it home. Napped. Ate. Rosann and Anita come over to visit and bring ice. My throat hurts. Bad. I have to go to the bathroom again. Really? Unhook the ice machine, grab the crutches, hobble to the bathroom. Reverse the process to get back to bed. Repeat three or four times. Time for bed. Can't sleep. Really? Really! 5 a.m. before I nod off. Crazy.
Thursday at around 11:00 I realized my knee hurt. Really. I hadn't been vigilant in my Lortab taking, so I upped my pills to 2 pills every 4 hours, and I watched the clock, believe you me! This continued through the night and into Friday.
By Friday I was happy to have some company--the boys and Daisy came for a few hours, then Rosann came to watch a movie with me. Smiling and sitting in the recliner with my knee on ice really wore me out!
Saturday morning at 2:00 a.m. I took my last Lortab. I had a hair appointment that I couldn't miss and didn't want to risk being able to drive. My sister came for the day and arrived in time to deliver me to the salon, so I could have taken some pain pills, but by the time we got home, I decided to switch to Tylenol and see how the pain was. No problem! I was kind of grumpy as I came off the pain pill high, but that was the extent of my withdrawal symptoms.
Sunday and Monday were low key--drove myself to the doctor's office for a follow up visit on Monday.
Tuesday I worked all day at Stampin' Up! My knee was tight and tired, but I was able to keep it on ice and elevated. In the afternoon I felt kind of shaky, but I made it through a very important meeting from 1-5, then went home and iced all evening.
Wednesday I took the day off, worked all day Thursday and Friday.
It's Tuesday now and I'm back to work full time and n the swing of things. My left knee gets swollen, but I don't need ice at work any more. I still baby it at home, but other than that, I'm good to go!

No Offense

"No offense, but...." I spend quite a bit of time with my friend Anita's boys and I'm noticing they use this phrase all the time. "Bonnie, no offense, but your handwriting was terrible when you were young." "Bonnie, no offense, but I liked your old house better." Sometimes they make me laugh with things like, "No offense, but I like pepperoni pizza more than cheese pizza." Like I'm invested in their pizza choice!

So here's my question. Does saying "No offense" open the gate to saying anything I want to say? I'm fairly certain the answer is no, but sometimes I hear myself or others use this phrase and kind of smile at the implication--

"No Offense Intended" really means what I'm about to say isn't nice, but since I've called an audible prior to saying it, it's your fault if you are offended.

Here are some other phrases I use and what I really mean when I use them:

"With All Due Respect": You are my superior/friend/respected neighbor but you haven't got a clue and I am politely pointing this out to you.
"Bless Her Heart": Batty old fool.
"To Be Totally Honest": I'm usually lying when I speak with you; this time I'm not.
"Present Company Excepted": Same category as With Due Respect or No Offense Intended, depending on the intention of the comment.

So, with all due respect (present company excepted), I will be totally honest here. I smile to myself a lot when I use or hear others use these phrases.

No offense intended....

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Motivation and Inspiration

It's been a while since I posted about my dieting efforts.
Read between the lines.
I swear I never actually quit dieting--I just quit being obsessed with it. Part of me feels more healthy when I'm not consumed with my consumption, so I try to back-burner the weight loss efforts and go on living.
Wow! That statement says it all, doesn't it? My life depends on confronting this addiction head on--I just get exhausted sometimes.
Last week I had my annual blood work done. The glucose number came back at 127, so we re-tested it. This time it was 128. Diabetes numbers.
My mother was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 55-ish. She controlled it, was vigilant about her diet and taking her medicine (never needed shots) and monitoring her numbers. Still, diabetes robber her of her sight at the age of 68. She was legally blind when she died at the age of 71. We drove her to appointments, she couldn't teach her Sunday School lessons, she couldn't read (one of her passions) and she couldn't garden (another one).
Diabetes scares me.
After another test, I was cleared of the diabetes scare. Still, I must get moving and I must lose weight to keep this pernicious disease at bay.
So, I'm back on the wagon. Weight Watchers online; diligent tracking; daily walks. Prayer.
After a recent dinner with a friend, we were having an informal family night and reading the scriptures.
“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23.
The most important challenge I have to overcome is this food addiction. I must treat each day as a step towards dealing with it. I have to take up this cross daily.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Sweep the Corners; The Middle Will Take Care of Itself

This was the advice my mother gave me when she taught me how to sweep the floor. I'm sure like many less-than-enthusiastic chore chart check-offers, I swept up the visible dirt and ignored the stuff under the cupboard or the refrigerator--the places I didn't think mattered. Well, they mattered to mama. I would complain that her approach meant more work. She then said, "Fine, just sweep the corners and ignore the middle." I thought that was a genius compromise. Moms are so smart!

I often think of my life and what I pay attention to. Am I concentrating on improving, changing, or polishing my middle--the parts people see--or am I spending my time on my corners? I'm pretty firmly in the middle. Really. I don't use my time for the private reflection that would lead to a personal improvement. I'm not saying I'm a terrible person. I am saying if  I would spend more time with a broom and dishpan attacking the unseen, un-applauded corners of my life, I would be a better Bonnie.

That would be awesome!

Monday, March 12, 2012

Traffic and Weather on the Nines

I have a sixty minute round trip commute. I don't mind it--having an hour a day to listen to a book on tape is a delight. I like having some time to transition from work to home. I also make big plans at the beginning of my drive home--do laundry, clean the bathroom, make two casseroles, and do some yard work--which dissolve into a puddle of non-energy by the time I pull into the carport. But I digress.

This post is about my short attention span.

As soon as I get into Opal I turn on the local news station to catch the latest information about my commute. Every ten minutes 'on the nines' there is a traffic and weather update. I can't tell you how many times I get in the car at 5:55 and miss the traffic and weather at 5:59! Even though I'm really invested in an update of the traffic situation (weather is kind of, well, look outside and see), I can't keep my mind focused long enough to find out if there's a delay on northbound I-15 that I could avoid. It's so frustrating! Luckily, it takes me about ten minutes to get to the freeway, so I can try to catch the next 'nines' for my update. More than once I've entered the freeway to find myself in a bumper to bumper situation I could have avoided with more diligent listening.

I suppose it's not the end of the world that I continue to do this.

What I wonder is if this is similar to my food addiction and healthy eating focus. I really want to pay attention. I am invested. But more often than not I get distracted by one thing or another.

Crazy, huh?

Happy commuting!

Monday, March 5, 2012

Connect & Update: A Lesson to be Learned

I bought a Windows 7 phone over a year ago (January 2, 2011 to be precise). I love it. When I bought it, I was told to download Zune to keep my phone updated. I didn't. For a while, I couldn't. My old computer just didn't have the chops for Zune, my work computer was network restricted and it was too much of a hassle to talk to IT about it, so I just kept using my new phone without any updates. Occasionally the phone would say "Updates are available," but I would ignore it. I mean, how out of date could my new phone be? About a month ago I decided I'd like to update my phone. I have a new home computer, so that shouldn't be a problem, right? Correct--but the cord to connect the phone to the computer was at work where I had last attempted to update. Finally, I got my phone, cord and computer all in the same place, so last night I connected and updated. It took nearly 2 hours, and I was instructed to leave my phone alone during the process so it could be updated without interruptions.Thirty-six updates later, my phone is functioning like a charm!

So, why am I sharing this fascinating story? The whole process made me wonder about my own functionality. When was the last time I gave myself permission to connect and update without interruptions?
How much better would it be if I did this regularly instead of once every 14 months?

Things that make me go hmmm.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Pinteresting and Delightful

I found Pinterest this week. I can see that it could become quite addictive. Is it odd that in some ways it stresses me out? Probably. I have to remind myself it's not a race to see who can pin the most things. There are just so many ideas out there--I feel like I'm behind all the time.

Two things happened today that delighted me.
1) The checker at the grocery store commented on the great variety of healthy food I was buying. (She also kindly didn't mention the peanut butter M&M's and candy bar I bought.)
2) As I was carrying my groceries from the car (Opal; I still LOVE her), two random youths asked if I needed help. Ironically, as I drove past them on my way home, I thought, "Gee, kids are sure sporting weird clothes and hairstyles these days." I love that nice kids are nice kids, no matter what they look like.

Oh, a bonus delight: I'm loving SMASH. Kind of obsessed right now.

I went shopping and lunching with an old friend on Saturday. Deb was my running buddy a decade ago. We worked out for nearly two years and went from walking to running a marathon. Oh, the conversations we had! We solved the world's problems with each mile. It was great to spend some time with her again. She always inspires me to get back with the program. I have ridden my stationary bike this week after work--and I'm surprised at how much better I already feel. Good enough that even when I come home tired I can convince myself to transition into night with a workout. Go me!  

Thursday, February 16, 2012

Bonnie's Big Fall...

I have, despite my best intentions, fallen behind in my blogging. I intended to do a photo of the day thing--didn't happen. Oh, I've taken the pictures--well, for a while I did. Then I was tired of the blurry ones from my phone but couldn't find my camera. Then I found my camera but not the cord to download photos to the computer. Then I just got really, really busy.

Excuses, excuses, right? I've read that if you want to improve at something, you need to do it every day. I love to write and want to improve my writing skills, so my blog is the perfect place to practice. I admire my friends who capture their day to day moments in such vivid detail that I feel I'm with them.

I am re-resolving to update my blog at least weekly.

On to weight loss. No progress. I know my knees would feel so much better if I could shed some pounds, but I just seem stuck in old behaviors and belief systems. I plan to immerse myself in some of the Kaleo recommended weight loss books again--it's been too long.

Quick recap of Stampin' Up!'s Leadership meeting in San Antonio. It was amazing. First of all, the location is unbeatable. The convention center is on the Riverwalk, so there's easy access to shopping and restaurants. Also, the event was packed with pleasure for the 1200 attendees. I have the best job in the world--to make a difference in the lives of women who make a difference in the world around them.

I must share a story in detail. Donna Griffith asked us to help her with the reveal of a new product by doing what she called the "Happy Dance." Well, I love to dance and to be a part of things, so I joined. It was fun, fun, fun---until I hit a sign as I was running off the stage. The sign wasn't heavy and didn't hurt, but my equilibrium was disturbed and I ended up turfing it as I ran. Picture someone sliding into first base, arm outstretched towards the base. That was me! I was worried the audience could see, so I said, "Just drag me off!" and Kevin Lunt and Carrie Cudney did. Meanwhile, Sean Douglass was on the other side of the stage and said, "Thurber's down!" so people rushed to help me up. As Scott Nielsen lifted me, he said he'd fallen many times during his carreer as a Yankee pitcher and I should walk it off. Made me laugh--let's compare my stumbling fall to a major league sports injury! Fast forward through lots of concerned faces, a visit with Chester, the convention center first aid guy, 200+ blood pressure and a calming visit in an ambulance. I ended up in my hotel room with pain pills, ice and a heating pad. About an hour later, the fire alarm went off in the hotel, but it was a mechanical error--good thing because I don't know how I would have gone down fourteen flights of stairs! By that evening Jason Hatton had arranged a jazzy chair to help me get around the next two days and I was back in business. Drama!

Here I am in my jazzy chair.

Gotta stop here for now!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Opal and Daisy

Two more pictures! I couldn't get Blogger to let me add these earlier.

Opal is my new car (the color is Opal Sage), the nicest little CR-V ever! She's a 2011 and still smells new. Yummy smell--nearly as good as hot popcorn and new babies.

Daisy is my new friend. She's a member of Anita's family--a six month old goldendoodle 'puppy'. She comes to visit when the boys do--and sometimes when they don't! 

Eating Naked!

My friend Cathi and I are eating naked for the next two weeks. Naked means no sugar, dairy, or wheat, and all other foods in their most natural state (not processed). Also, light on starchy fruits and veggies.

Of course, I brought a yogurt for a snack today. I don't even like yogurt all that much, but I try to eat it every so often for the probiotics. Guess I'll take it back home and stick to my nuts and veggies!

I'm going to take a picture every day for 2012. I don't think I'll post daily, so they may all appear in one post per week. This photo is blurry because it's from my phone. I'll resurrect my camera and improve the quality!

My friend Matt at work asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him a new car with a bow. He delivered!