Sunday, April 28, 2013

268.6: Feeling very proud of myself

As I reflect on the past few weeks, I am struck by something. It seems like the successful approach to 'beginning' again is similar to nursing myself back to health after an injury. I need to be patient, have the right tools, get plenty of rest, give myself permission to say no to a few things, and drink plenty of water!

I was sick for the first four days. Both my body and my mind needed to detox from several months of doing what felt good. During my study, I've learned the food that is calorically empty but sooo tasty is called highly palatable food. That says a mouthful (pun acknowledged), huh? HP food is addictive but not satisfying. The donut begs for a chaser of chips, the nachos scream for a soda, and the burger needs fries to be a complete 'meal.'

Here's something else I've learned: I'm not strong enough to have bridge mix or chocolate covered cinnamon bears anywhere in my house. It's that simple.

I'm so glad I'm here today instead of where I was on April 15! I'm not perfect, but I'm working on it. One day at a time.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

270.4: A few slip ups, but that's life...

I've had a couple of oops moments since Friday. First of all, I bought some treats for my friend's boys who were hanging out with me on Monday evening. They didn't like the potato stix I bought--how could they not like those?

So, when my knee was acting up at midnight and I got up to ice and heat it, I ate 'em. All of 'em. 886 calories of 'em. Yup.

Oh, and instead of buying 3 chocolate covered cinnamon bears and getting that craving out of my system, I bought sugar free cinnamon bears and dipping chocolate and made some myself. Well, they were nasty. Did that stop me? Nope. I ate 'em. All of 'em. And I have dipping chocolate that now calls out to me every evening.

I was so focused on my goals last week! That focus paid off and I was successful. Even at the Stampin' Up! regional in Salt Lake I was able to eat every 2-3 hours and stay on track. This week I don't even have any goals. What? I mean I haven't written any down, and, as I've heard before "A goal not written is only a wish."

So, here are my new goals:
1) I will eat 100 calorie meals every 2-3 hours.
2) I will update my blog twice a week. How does Wednesday and Sunday sound?
3) I will track my food on
4) I will do 30 minutes of addiction study each week.
5) I will say nice things to myself.

There. Consider those my ongoing goals until further notice. Do you set goals? Wanna share?

Friday, April 19, 2013

272: Finally Friday

I'm in fat burning! How do I know? Well, I'm feeling happy, energized and confident. I crave water, not soda. This is a good feeling. I like feeling lighter at the end of a day!

Something I've noticed this week is I rarely feel satisfied with my noon meal. Even if it's my Lean & Green, I want to eat something as soon as I get back to my desk. It's like I switch on the "yes, it's okay to eat" button and it gets stuck. Where's the off switch? What I'm trying now is to have another 32 oz of water and some chewing gum. A couple of times this week I've had to drink some bouillon too. Maybe lunch is stressful? Maybe the meetings and work I generally have/do after lunch are stressful? Hmmm. Perhaps I should schedule a massage every day after lunch.

Wins yesterday include regular meals, blogging, tracking my food, saying nice things and studying. Nearly perfect on my 6 goals!

One of the podcasts I listened to suggested we have a mantra that begins "I am a person who..." in relation to our goals. I like that. The reason for this is when we set weight loss related goals and work hard at them, it doesn't take long to get benefits, which then remove the urgency/tension/relevance of the goals. Interesting concept, huh? I can see that to be true for me. I was so frightened of diabetes a year ago I was motivated to begin Medifast. Within weeks I felt better, had more energy, and my glucose levels were normal. Even this time around the urgency was seeing my weight nearing 280 again, not to mention the unbearably tight-around-the-middle dress pants that I bought a size smaller in November when I was a size smaller. I love that on Medifast I see results quickly. I also see the need for reframing my goals to be toward goals instead of away from goals. Dr. A writes about that in his book, Dr. A's Habits of Health.

Here's my mantra for now: I am a person who chooses to be happy and healthy. I like that. I am choosing every day, every minute, how I feel emotionally and physically. Or as Charlie Sheen would say, "WINNING!!!"

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Thursday Update

Yesterday I was emotional--sad and grumpy. And mad. And I couldn't eat to get through it.

Amend that; I chose not to eat to get through it. Instead, I cried to my friend Cathi and did a bit of shopping. Lest you think I'm perfect, I did buy some sugar free turtles and finished all six of them before I got home. And some chocolate sprinkles, the kind you put on cupcakes. And some pumpkin seeds. And my Lean & Green was a lettuce wrapped Carl's Jr. Famous Star.

So, my wins were a bit slimmer yesterday:

1) I ate my meals.
2) I blogged.
3) I went to bed before 9 (didn't sleep 'til midnight, but still...).

I will increase my wins today--and I can't wait to see what the scale has to say tomorrow. I really have been working hard this week. It hasn't been easy, but I feel like I've turned a corner and am able to focus on being happy and healthy, not just one or the other.

Wednesday, April 17, 2013

Wednesday Wisdom

"Mindlessness is the enemy."

Profound, huh? I did my addiction study last night from Dr. A's Habits of Health (Dr. Wayne Scott Andersen) and came across that nugget.
If I choose to eat a handful of peanuts, that's fine. Choosing means I have an internal conversation and decide eating the peanuts is worth a diet setback. If I don't realize I've polished off the last of a jar of peanuts while watching, say, The Mentalist, that's not fine. That's mindlessness.

Good lesson to learn. The peanuts were tasty, by the way. And there really weren't that many...

I had a bunch of wins yesterday:

I ate every 2-3 hours.
I tracked my food.
I studied.
I said nice things to myself.
I was in bed before 9:30.

By the way, I don't like the book I'm reading for book club. Very unsatisfying. I am listening to a sweet romance on the way to work--A Countess Below Stairs by Eva Ibbotson.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Tuesday Thoughts

I'm going to weigh myself after these first four days, so no weight to post today.

Yesterday was easier than I thought. I felt motivated and able to choose health instead of eat my stress. And my stress is high right now (at work). It's good stress--I'm busy with exciting projects as well as getting ready for the South Pacific convention in Brisbane (Australia) in May. I also have some physical stress--I tumbled down my outside stairs last week, causing some neck, shoulder and knee pain. The neck and shoulder have settled down to an occasional Aleve, but my darn knee (the non-replaced one) is not happy with me right now.  

Wins from yesterday:
1) I ate my 100 calorie meals every 2-3 hours.
2) I tracked my food.
3) I listened to 4 podcasts from Take Shape For Life.
4) I was nice to myself.

So, I didn't get to bed by 9:00, but I was in bed before 10:00. I also ate some peanuts before bed.
That's okay. My biggest hurdle yesterday was my Lean & Green evening meal. It should be 5-7 oz of protein with 2 cups of greens and a small amount of fat. I had a chef's salad at Dee's. Probably not enough lean protein and too much fat, but I took my friend Ruthie out and that seemed to be the best choice. Dee's just doesn't strike me as the type of place to request a chicken breast and broccoli. :)

Today I plan to keep it up. If I drink 94 oz of water before noon, that seems to really help. I struggle with the dreaded 3:00 snack attack, but I can time my meal then. My L&G will be totally in my control tonight.

Thanks for your comments, texts, and phone calls! Accountability makes a difference. I read in a Gretchen Rubin ( article in Good Housekeeping (Jan 2013) that one of her Secrets of Adulthood is "I manage what I measure." I love that!

Update: It's 1:26 p.m. and I'm going 'grazey.' I want the Lindt chocolate on Mike Sloan's desk. Or the bag of chips on Cori's. I've had a mint and some gum. I'm now going to drink water and make some beef bouillon. Hope that helps! Oh, and I updated Gretchen Rubin's information (above). The end.

Monday, April 15, 2013

277: The Journey Begins (again)

Rock bottom? Check.

Wake up call? Check.

It's been creeping up (the weight, that is). It's been easy to rationalize - stress, busy-ness, hormones, water retention, travel, and so on and so on.

The fact is I'm eating too much.

I'm not tracking my food. I'm not blogging, which is my place of honesty.

And so I begin again. No matter what else I'm doing, my weight loss efforts are my #1 priority. I love my family, I love my friends, I love my job, and I love my life. I must be healthy in order to enjoy any of those things. 

I've decided Medifast is still the right plan for me. Here's my four day strategy:

1) I will eat 100 calories every 2-3 hours.
2) I will blog every day.
3) I will track my food on
4) I will study from my bibliotherapy books for 30 minutes every day.
5) I will say nice things to myself.
6) I will go to bed early (9:00).

My Why: When I'm in control of my eating I feel confident, loving, and strong. I love the message I send myself when I choose life over the numbness of addiction.

You have no idea how powerful your support is to me!

How are you doing? What's working for you?