Monday, June 23, 2014

302.4 Bonnie Food and God

Life is so interesting. I feel like I go to work, come home, go to bed, rinse and repeat. Yet after a large absence from this blog, I find myself not knowing where to begin. Much has happened. Much is happening. I am getting married. It's a busy time right now--blending two households of stuff, building new relationships with children and grandchildren, prioritizing time differently, planning a wedding, and adding all that on top of an already full life.

This blog has been and will continue to be my weight loss journey. My destination of a healthy weight and lifestyle hasn't changed.

I've enrolled in an online Women Food and God retreat. The book is remarkable, and the course brings it alive. I am learning about myself, my beliefs about my body and worth, and my relationship with food. I am immersing myself in the courses and reviewing the materials daily.

At its essence Geneen Roth's retreat is designed to reconnect us with our bodies. Each session begins with a guided meditation, then deals with a different topic. I'm familiar with the course material because I've read the book, but I'm experiencing it this time instead of reading it from an outside perspective.

Monday, January 20, 2014

My New Year's Resolution

2014: Bonnie's Year of Cheer. That's my resolution, my theme for the year. I am choosing to be cheerful. What a happy goal!

Here's my cheerful story for the week. After a lovely but tiring week in Houston for work, I was queuing up for the flight home when one of my co-workers said he'd been updgraded to First Class and offered me his seat! Who does that? My friend Derek.

In other news, I'm not cut out for diet pills. I tried Phentermine for about a month and a half and, to be honest, I'd rather be fat and happy than feel sick all the time. Not stomach sick, but kind of sinus pressure-y-just-not-myself sick. I may try to use it on the weekends only and see how I feel. My diet plan is to be sensible, eat right, and be moderate. Easier to write than to do.

My newest knee was nearly ready to exercise, then I took a little tumble at Leadership in Houston earlier this month. Picture this: I had taken about five steps into the hallway outside of my hotel room when my shoe caught on the carpet and I pitched forward. I did one of those take-a-few-more-steps dances, then landed face first like I was sliding into home. No one was in the hall, so I tried to stand up before anyone saw me. At that point I realized I wasn't going to be able to stand without some sort of support, so I rolled to a stranger's door and grabbed it to pull myself up. The door handle sure jiggled--I was relieved no one came to investigate. Can you imagine? Yikes! Well, I ended up with some lovely bruises, swelling, and some damaged ligaments.

Still, I need to get walking again. I know how much it helps me in all health aspects-mental and physical.

I also need to go on a TV diet. Not really sure what that will look like.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

282.6: A hop across the pond

Hiyer! It's been a crazy month - we hosted the Rising Stars here at the office and I've been to England and back since last I wrote. It was wonderful--Stampin' Up! convention in Manchester.

I wish I had an earth shattering update regarding dieting. I don't. I am working with my doctor to see if I can find a way to suppress my appetite long enough to make better food decisions, but I've been travelling or had such an odd schedule for the past three weeks that I don't know if the pills are really doing anything. We'll see. Maybe once I get over jet lag and back into a routine? Wait! It's Thanksgiving in two days, then I fly to Washington DC for a conference. So much for a routine, huh?

The best thing I can report is I walked all over Manchester and didn't have achey knees every night. As a matter of fact, my calves hurt from walking so much. It's been years since I've been able to be active enough to have sore calves...yay!

Monday, October 7, 2013

280.4: Self Mastery or Self Acceptance?

Not surprisingly, I've had a bit of a food binge. In some ways there's too much food to choose from. Weird, huh? Once I quit putting foods in the 'no' category, I got a bit carried away. No tracking. Lots of snacking.

I'm searching, searching, searching. And eating, eating, eating. I don't know what I'm searching for. Sorry for getting all transcendental on you, but if I wait til I get it figured out I may never post again.

Something I've been thinking about is my purpose in life and how to accept and honor who I am while at the same time pushing myself to be more.


Monday, September 9, 2013

?: Bonnie is Rebooting

Be patient, this may take some time. The rebooting, that is.

After my last emotional blog post, I had an equally emotional week. And weekend. Early in the week I told my friend Cori "I want to eat all day." And I did. All day, all night, all weekend. I ate carb-filled food. I craved potatoes, bread, chips, chocolate. I ate nachos three times a day one day. I ate frosting from the can. It's not really that good, but it was sweet. I had popcorn with butter an average of once per day (twice on Sunday). Nary a vegetable nor fruit crossed my lips. I had access to both. Tomatoes from my garden, apples from my neighbor's, salad mix from the store. Cucumbers. Peppers. Healthy things spoiled in my refrigerator while I foraged for something to fill up my emotional hole.

Emotional holes can't get filled by food.

My sweet niece Jennie shared this thought from a talk by Richard G Scott, an LDS church leader, with me:
"Simple, consistent, good habits lead to a life full of bountiful blessings.
We can learn, grow and become like Him one consistent step at a time."

Regardless of religion, this thought contains truth. I need to get back to simple, consistent, good habits.

Today I ate fresh vegetables. Lots of them. I like vegetables and can consistently eat them.

I love how I feel today. I love who I am today.

That's a start, right?

And, by the way, thank you for your support. Blogging really does help me--because you take the time to read and to care. I genuinely appreciate you.

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

277: I'm Gonna Have to Re-think This...

Of course, I partied all weekend. I went to three movies, watched a ton of television, sat around and ate. Movie popcorn with extra butter, chocolate covered cinnamon bears, pizza, nachos...and I didn't track anything.

That's my quick update. I had breakfast today at 8:00 and haven't decided whether I'm Medifasting or FastDieting.

In my experience, I am successful on a specific diet program the first time I do it. When I return to it, I'm not as successful. I think that's because I've figured out how to 'bend' the rules and still lose. With that attitude and approach, I don't know if I can Medifast...but I have a bunch of Medifast food. Oh, and I like how I feel on it. Oh, and it's easy to follow.

I just don't know which direction to turn. I want to be healthy so my body doesn't ache all the time. I want to be healthy because I'm worth it.

I'm stressed today. Sorry to be a downer. I just don't believe in myself right now as far as making good food choices. That makes me sad. I'm a good person and I deserve to be a better friend to myself.

Harrumph. Sigh.

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

273.0: Not That Fast-Thoughts at Noon

I'm posting during lunch today because I'm fasting. I'm not laughing, relaxing, de-stressing with my friends. I'm drinking 5 calorie broth and updating my blog. Kinda grumpy about that--I'll be honest.

The Friday fast ended well. I did go to dinner with friends, but I had a broth based chicken posole soup and a side salad. I also had several bites of a flourless chocolate cake. Still, the day ended well and I had lost a couple of pounds when I weighed on Saturday morning.

Saturday went fairly well with food except I grazed all day. You ever have those days? Not a huge problem with calories, but I felt food was managing me instead of the other way around. Still, not too bad. I decided after my dinner to begin my next fast. That was 8:30 p.m.

So I fasted from 8:30 p.m 'til after church at 12:30 p.m. which gave me 16 hours of no food. The goal is 12 hours or longer and it's okay to combine sleeping hours to achieve that. At 12:30 I ate 200 calories of a caprese salad (tomatoes, basil and fresh mozzarela cheese). At 1:30 I ate another 200 calories of garlic toast and peanuts. At 4:00 I ate 130 calories of popcorn, unbuttered and tasteless. At 9:00 p.m. I thought I was going to die, so I went to bed. By 10:00 p.m. I had eaten about 700 calories of tomatoes on toast, mixed nuts, peanut butter and chocolate chips. REALLY. Not a successful fastdiet day.

Today I'm following the original plan. I had a 100 calorie breakfast at 7:30 and plan to eat a 400 calorie dinner at 7:30 tonight. I'm looking forward to it--spaghetti casserole, cottage cheese and garlic bread. Yum, huh? We'll see how the rest of the night goes. I'm hoping a later dinner will combat the 'go to bed muchies' that I fought on Sunday.

The spaghetti casserole is a Paula Deen recipe. Here's the link:

Here's a picture:
Mama’s Spaghetti Casserole with Baked Garlic Herb Bread

This is my last FastDiet day for the week. For the rest of the week I'm committed to 1) drink 132 ounces of water, 2) track my food, 3) eat 4/5 veggies or fruit and 4) make a plan for every day.

Hope you're well! Thanks for following...