Not surprisingly, I've had a bit of a food binge. In some ways there's too much food to choose from. Weird, huh? Once I quit putting foods in the 'no' category, I got a bit carried away. No tracking. Lots of snacking.
I'm searching, searching, searching. And eating, eating, eating. I don't know what I'm searching for. Sorry for getting all transcendental on you, but if I wait til I get it figured out I may never post again.
Something I've been thinking about is my purpose in life and how to accept and honor who I am while at the same time pushing myself to be more.
Tricky.
I did the exact same thing when I stopped beating myself up about eating. I tried to be patient through the process until I finally got the place where I wanted to just eat healthy and be healthy. It wasn't about weight anymore, but more about making choices that were good for my body. Good luck! Love you - Jen
ReplyDeleteSo I've typed a few different comments already, and I keep erasing them. (Mainly because I'm going off on a crazy, wordy tangent, and I'm not even sure it's significant. :) )
ReplyDeleteAlso because your post is making me really think . . . and I can so understand why you're searching and thinking and feeling the "tricky"ness of it all.
I hope you can find some clarity and some answers soon. At the least, I hope you can feel peace about who you are and a sense of assurance in who you are becoming--both spirit and body, mind and heart.
I have to remind myself often that achieving self-mastery is a lifelong challenge. Even eternal in its scope and breadth. And while that's sort of discouraging on the one hand, it helps me take heart on the other. Because, ironically, despite the mountains I wish to climb, I know it is by small and simple things that I'll make the trek. And I can feel okay about focusing on what's small and simple. (I'm just a little brown person, after all. ;) ) I just have to remember the progress may feel small and simple at times, too. And maybe that's another reason why self-mastery can feel hard?
Hmm. Anyhow, I lub you, Bonnie! (That's how Bonnie-Cate says, "I love you," lately, but I'm convinced she really means, "I love you," and "I hug you," at the same time, because she always says it when we're hugging.)
So . . . I lub you! A lot, a lot!
Thinking of you!!!
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