254.8: One Direction--not sweet music

One direction. That seems to describe my daily scale results. Up. The scale is reflecting my eating behavior. I am nibbling my way up. I can fight this, I really can! I like the feeling of an empty, growly tummy. I like not feeling sick all the time. The Medifast meals don't get my gallbladder going--it's all the other stuff I've been stuffing myself with.

I deserve better. The chapter in Life is Hard, Food is Easy that I'm working on is all about identifying needs. Not an easy chapter. It's hard to sit down and write "I need this" because 1) I feel ungrateful  and 2) seeing what I need makes me feel sad. I don't like to feel sad, so I eat.

One thing I need is to put an end to self sabatoge with my diet. So this morning I 'purged' my kitchen before leaving for work.

Bread? In the freezer for my sister to eat when she comes to tend me after the gallbladder surgery. Peanut butter? On the table to be given to my neighbor for her 2 year old.
Butterscotch and chocolate chips? In the freezer because I can't bear to throw them out!
Potato cheese soup? Ready to take to my other neighbor tonight.
Mozarella and sharp cheese? In the freezer for limited use in Lean and Green recipes.

I need honesty. I tracked my food and weight on Medifast's system for the first time since September 25.

I need (and have) support from my family and friends. Good news: my dieting focus is paying off for my sisters and brother. Loene (my sister who was supposed to be born on Halloween and would have been Hal if she were a boy-true story) called last night. Since the sister party in August, she has lost 35 pounds. My other sister lost 10 (that's all she had to lose). Now our brother, Alan, has lost 5 pounds. I'm so excited for them! I also have amazing friends who applaud my efforts, so I'm covered in this area.

I'm going to write again tonight--evenings seem to be a stumbling block for me right now.