Sunday, May 13, 2012

Motivation and Inspiration

It's been a while since I posted about my dieting efforts.
Read between the lines.
I swear I never actually quit dieting--I just quit being obsessed with it. Part of me feels more healthy when I'm not consumed with my consumption, so I try to back-burner the weight loss efforts and go on living.
Wow! That statement says it all, doesn't it? My life depends on confronting this addiction head on--I just get exhausted sometimes.
Last week I had my annual blood work done. The glucose number came back at 127, so we re-tested it. This time it was 128. Diabetes numbers.
My mother was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 55-ish. She controlled it, was vigilant about her diet and taking her medicine (never needed shots) and monitoring her numbers. Still, diabetes robber her of her sight at the age of 68. She was legally blind when she died at the age of 71. We drove her to appointments, she couldn't teach her Sunday School lessons, she couldn't read (one of her passions) and she couldn't garden (another one).
Diabetes scares me.
After another test, I was cleared of the diabetes scare. Still, I must get moving and I must lose weight to keep this pernicious disease at bay.
So, I'm back on the wagon. Weight Watchers online; diligent tracking; daily walks. Prayer.
After a recent dinner with a friend, we were having an informal family night and reading the scriptures.
“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23.
The most important challenge I have to overcome is this food addiction. I must treat each day as a step towards dealing with it. I have to take up this cross daily.

1 comment:

  1. Bonnie, thank you so much for being so open and honest, courageous and inspiring. You may not feel courageous or inspiring, but you are. I believe each of us has his/her unique challenges--personal ones that require more daily, sustained effort than we sometimes feel we can muster.

    When I'm feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, when I feel painfully more human and weak than I wish, I find such solace and hope and inspiration in my dear friends like you. Because you help me see I am not alone. And that succeeding in changing what I see as weaknesses into strengths is a process we all are tasked with. And succeeding looks more like learning to try again and again (because it involves a lot of messing up and falling short). It's more like learning to not give up and to continue to hope and to continue to work.

    You help me to keep trying, Bonnie. And to be honest with myself. And to find joy and hope all along the way.

    I thought a lot about my mom this Mother's Day. And as I often do, when I'm missing my mom, I thought of you and how you might be missing your mom, too. It helped me to be strong and to know I will be just fine. It made me so grateful for your example and friendship.

    I am so proud of you for courageously taking up your cross, Bonnie. I hope you feel your unique burden become lighter and easier over time . . . and I hope you know what a strength you are to others, (especially to me :) ).

    I miss and love you!

    P.S. I just watched this talk by Brad Wilcox for the second time this week:
    You've perhaps already seen it or read it, but you might find it uplifting like I have. :)
    P.P.S. I hope you can meet my mama one day. And I can meet yours. I'm pretty sure we'd all be four peas in a pod. :)