#21: NOT a 20 Pound Milestone.

I gained weight-3 pounds- and insight this week. This is the first week I've gained since I began on July 5. Did I think I would decide to lose weight and not have any set backs or challenges? No. I realize this is an opportunity to learn and move forward, but I'm still upset and disappointed in myself.

What happened? I can trace the gain to three things. First of all, I didn't track my points very well this week. It was a busy and stressful week and I fell into the trap of skipping that very important step. Second, I only worked out one day. Cathi is out of Curves until the beginning of November and I began the week feeling a little under the weather, so I just flat out skipped my workouts. Third, I ate beyond full at several meals. Waiting to eat until I'm hungry hasn't been that hard (I'm surprised at this, but I actually like knowing I'm hungry so it's worth waiting for that feeling). What has been difficult is once I begin eating I have a hard time eating only 'til I'm comfortably full. To be candid, I don't even notice the change from hungry to full. Here's an example: Last Thursday I ate lunch with my friend Cori. We had some business things to discuss and I was feeling a bit stressed. I ordered the same meal I ate half of the week before (stopping at half a burger and only 6 fries-yes, I counted), but this week I ate all the burger and most of the fries. Back at the office, I actually became ill with a soon-to-be migraine and had to go home early. I know it was a combination of the stress and overeating that caused the migraine, but at the time of the meal, I didn't really feel too full. Instead of learning from this experience, I repeated overeating at least twice more on Friday and Saturday.

This is hard to admit, but I also intentionally ate gluten this weekend. I was at a creative conference in the area and gave in to my eating addiction. I ate some of a molasses cookie, an entire eclair, some peanut butter filled pretzels, a roll, a bread stick, some breaded chicken, a croissant sandwich, a ham sandwich, and some of a sugar cookie. I didn't get sick really, but I know I will feel achy and tired for a week now. I'm also much more susceptible to colds and such-I've compromised my autoimmune system.

On a bright note, I did work out on Saturday morning. I also committed to getting in 21 workouts prior to Cathi's return with me in November. I told the Curves owner about it, and she's the kind who will keep me honest about it. I am also going to record my workouts on this blog, so maybe y'all can keep me on it too!

Another victory: I was tempted to severely restrict my food yesterday in a desperate attempt to at least not gain weight this week (yes, I weighed myself and knew I was in for a gain), but that wasn't a smart choice physically or emotionally. Instead, I tried to pay attention to why and what I was eating. I still overate, but I felt more in control. Is that as weird as it sounds?

So, thanks for tuning in for this episode of The Scale of Truth. I hope my mid-week post is more joyous.