Tuesday, April 5, 2011

The Healing Phase

I met with Kaleo last Friday. I had nothing to say to her. I'm doing the same thing I've done for the past 6 months, so I'm getting the same results I've gotten for the past 6 months. I've lost and found the same 4 pounds. How can this be progress? Moment of illumination: I'm now in the cognition phase of recovery. I used to eat myself into numbness with no knowledge of what I was doing. Now I know that I'm doing it, but I do it anyway. So I repeat my question, "How can this be progress?" According to Kaleo, just the awareness of the behavior is monumental and I shall eventually be able to intervene between a strong emotion and the resulting chocolate coma. Yay! I told her in a way I feel even more mentally unhealthy because I know that I'm engaging in destructive behavior. Ready for the quote of the day? "The healing phase is not always a good feeling place." Wow! Food for thought (pun intended)

2 comments:

  1. Wow, that is me too!! I'm sending you major Hugs!!!

    Deb

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  2. That is profound, Bonnie. I'm still thinking about it and mulling over it, actually. I can say, when it comes to physical healing, it's definitely similar. My belly hurts still, and it's supposed to be "healed" in a few days. I guess healing takes time. But healing is progress, nonetheless. I'm proud of you, as always. You could just throw up your hands and say forget it, but you don't. You keep on trying. I hope I can do the same in all aspects of my life: keep on trying. And, as I heard Oprah say on her "Master Class" TV show I caught on her network this week: Intention is everything. Love you, Bonnie, Bonnie! :)

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