Wednesday, May 1, 2013

272: Fall, Pride Goeth Before the

This time it was the melting chocolate chips. A bag. Not a small bag, the rest of the bag of melting chips I bought. Monday night I was compelled to finish it, to banish it from my house by consuming it, killing it off. I even remember thinking "Good, this way it will be all gone." I didn't savor the sweet chocolate--they add waxy, oily stuff to the melting kind so it will melt better--I just inhaled. Didn't nibble. Didn't indulge. Inhaled.

I feel sad for me, mad at me, and a bit pouty.

On an unrelated topic, here's the conversation I had with my ortho on Monday morning:

Ortho: What are we seeing you for today?
Me: My other knee hurts. I've had the series of weekly injections to give me 6 months of relief, and it still hurts.
Ortho: Oh?
Me: I fell a few weeks ago. Maybe that's it? Except it doesn't hurt right now. It quit hurting on Friday, but I don't know when it will start again and when it starts again the pain is terrible and keeps me awake at night and I swear it's causing sciatica in that leg because my butt hurts too and nothing I take, even Lortab leftover from a year ago, touches the pain and I have a work trip scheduled for Australia and I really want to go but only if my knee isn't going to be a problem.
Ortho: Oh? Well, sometimes the injections take 8 weeks to kick in.
Me: Oh. How's your crystal ball working these days?
Ortho: (Smiles) Not too well. (Rifles through papers (did you know in England they pronounce it riffle? I like that.).) Wow! Last time I scoped that knee it had extensive arthritis in all three cavities and I spent a long time in there. We could do that again, but what are your thoughts on going ahead and replacing it?

So, other than learning that I don't have a knack for writing dialog, I've learned that June 2013 will be filled with medical stuff. In one way it freaks me out because I've done it all before. In another way it's all quite matter of fact because I've done it all before.

Hmm. Maybe it's not an unrelated topic after all.

The thing I love about life is every single day/hour/minute I get to start again. Tuesday morning I did just that.

It was easy because there was no melting chocolate to deal with.


  1. Praying for you, Bonnie - and sending a (virtual) hug :}

  2. Wow, knee replace, will you be well for convention? as far as the weight battle, just take it one day at a time, i just decided to do my best to make smart choices every day and go from there......Lord willing, I'll make good choices and the pounds will come off.....walking is going to be a big part of it. OH and i want to wear the dress I wore last year on the cruise but only after it's altered because i'll be so much thinner......(hoping it's not a dream but a reality!) Bonnie, you and I can do it!! I love you lots and send Hugs,
    NH Deb