I am so discouraged. I have hit what I guess is a plateau--but I think it's an emotional one as well as a weight loss one. I want to just relax and say "Just maintain during the holidays, that will be enough," but it won't. I don't want to maintain, I want to lose. Not much. Three more pounds total 'til after Christmas. See? That's totally reasonable.
The problem is I am all over the scale these days, and by all over I mean it keeps going up-just a smidge, but up. See how I wrote that? "It keeps going up." I've removed myself from the problem. Instead of "What am I struggling with emotionally that's causing me to turn to food?", I'm apparently thinking on some level the scale is broken or stupid or it (the scale) just keeps gaining weight. That's silly! A scale is just a tool. I am seeing Kaleo tomorrow. Dollars to donuts (yum) she's going to challenge me to stop weighing myself so often. I used to weigh daily, now I weigh before each blog.
No, it's not water weight. Not PMS. I know I'm eating too much and too much of the wrong food. I can feel myself be...I don't know what it is. Stressed? Bored? I almost feel a little manic--you know what I mean? Kind of, "Ahh, who cares? I'm in charge of me and this feels good and I'm going to eat or do it!" Wow, that sounds more rebellious than manic. Who/What am I rebelling against?
Good news? I'm writing this while waiting to meet Cathi at Curves. She's been cleared to work out again with me (heart attack in September-scary) and I am so excited to have my work out buddy back. Cathi is a great friend and the kind of exercise buddy that is super consistent. She expects me at Curves, so I go.
I need to get my rear in gear! If you have any tips or tricks, I'm totally open. My friend Alisa went to a seminar where they learned some techniques to distract themselves when they were craving. I promise to ask her about them today at work.