Sunday, October 31, 2010

#33: Re-prioritizing

When I met with Kaleo on Friday, I kind of wondered what we'd talk about. After all, I'm progressing beautifully. Summary: I've read three of the five books she recommended, I pay attention to why I'm eating, I've uncovered some hard truths I've been avoiding, and I'm losing weight. Don't I sound like an advanced client?

So I began by telling her about my weight loss the week before even with a weekend of travel and not feeling well. I also told her I'd taken a veggie tray to work the day before to help me avoid the office treats, but I was disappointed because I ate so many veggies even though I wasn't hungry. After all, the addiction doesn't distinguish between carrots and chocolate, right? It doesn't matter what I eat if I'm eating emotion instead of food.

Turns out I'm seriously wrong. Kaleo was genuinely disturbed by my frustration with myself. She firmly told me that eating carrots and only 5 mini candy bars is worth celebrating, not haranguing myself. Hmmm. Go figure. She asked me if I've been self-praising. Um, no. Even when I pre-planned my travel meals and stuck to my plan. Even when I passed on treats and avoided snacking in my hotel room. Even when I avoided fast food after a stressful weekend. Geesh, what does it take for me to be impressed with my efforts?

I am re-prioritizing (I don't think that's a real word, but it works!). You'll notice my weight loss has moved down on my list to the left. Instead, every week I'm going to document the number of days I tracked my food and the number of days I praised myself at least 10 times. So, back to NSV's (Non-scale victories). Of course, I'll also weigh every week, but my goal is to use the scale as one of many performance indicators instead of the only one.

Today at church I sat behind one of my favorite cute families. At one point, both the mom and dad complimented the older toddler on his coloring skills. It made me smile. That's what I need to do for myself, with just as much sincerity and love.

Good job, Bonnie! I'm so proud of you for being aware of what you eat and trying to eat healthy foods. Even thought it's Halloween, you really tried to make good choices. You weren't perfect, but you are working soo hard.

My dear friends, it means the world to me that you take the time to read my blog and follow my journey. Your kind thoughts, comments, emails, phone calls and facebook posts lift me and help me stay motivated and focused. If that's all it takes, I'd be set. Turns out I need to be my own head cheerleader! I challenge you to do the same. What are you doing right? Did you work out even though you didn't want to-even for only 10 minutes? Did you eat 2 brownies instead of the whole pan? Did you take the time to say something kind to someone else? Praise yourself!

Good job gang! We are amazing! Oh, and by the way, I gained 4.5 pounds. I'll lose it soon.


  1. Hi Bonnie! You can do it. Be nice to yourself and keep trying. This is going to take some time. Be patient and don't give up.

  2. You're so funny - I love that you left yourself a comment. Thank you SO much for sharing your journety with us! I agree - it's much easier to judge ourselves then praise ourselves. Why is that?

  3. humm, i think we are all in it together. It's hard to say nice things about onesself....I don't take complements very well do you? But it's a learning thing, and they say we should learn new things every day so I guess we can learn how to give attaboys.....just keep hanging in there my friend.....I know it will take time but we will both be able to loose....we just can't give up.

    Love and hugs to you ! Deb

  4. You are inspiring to me, Bonnie. :) I had to congratulate myself this evening on my one weekend victory (amid the many, many diet failures): I joined a gym. A step is a step, right?

  5. Bonnie, YOU ARE WONDERFUL! Your honesty encourages ME to be brave and be HONEST with myself. I'm reading Women, Food, and Gor right now and I can't seem to get through it. I'm reading a bit and then have to sit on it for awhile. It's painful to work through the muck. It's like I'm a hoarder, like on the TLC show Hoarders, but it's not my house, it's me. I am like some of those people with their houses, except it's not my house, it's my BODY! I don't want to throw it out, it's salvagable, even though it's holding me back and down, it's unhealthy, etc, I can't let go if it. This is a tough journey we are on togoether. Hang in there. You're doing GREAT! Big Hugs!

  6. Bonnie, this was exactly the post for me tonight. Thank you for sharing it. It's so true . . . we (humans and women, in particular) seem to have a tendency to beat ourselves up. Way more than is necessary. I put on my workout clothes and shoes the other day and then proceeded to sit on the couch for several hours and watch television. I really beat myself up for that. But why? Yes, I can do better. But I at least I am trying. And Bonnie, you are inspiring! I'm so proud of you for the progress you're making--in all aspects of this journey. Thank you for being so honest and open. And for being one of my most favorite people in the world. :)

    Love you and miss you!