No Offense

"No offense, but...." I spend quite a bit of time with my friend Anita's boys and I'm noticing they use this phrase all the time. "Bonnie, no offense, but your handwriting was terrible when you were young." "Bonnie, no offense, but I liked your old house better." Sometimes they make me laugh with things like, "No offense, but I like pepperoni pizza more than cheese pizza." Like I'm invested in their pizza choice!

So here's my question. Does saying "No offense" open the gate to saying anything I want to say? I'm fairly certain the answer is no, but sometimes I hear myself or others use this phrase and kind of smile at the implication--

"No Offense Intended" really means what I'm about to say isn't nice, but since I've called an audible prior to saying it, it's your fault if you are offended.

Here are some other phrases I use and what I really mean when I use them:

"With All Due Respect": You are my superior/friend/respected neighbor but you haven't got a clue and I am politely pointing this out to you.
"Bless Her Heart": Batty old fool.
"To Be Totally Honest": I'm usually lying when I speak with you; this time I'm not.
"Present Company Excepted": Same category as With Due Respect or No Offense Intended, depending on the intention of the comment.

So, with all due respect (present company excepted), I will be totally honest here. I smile to myself a lot when I use or hear others use these phrases.

No offense intended....

Motivation and Inspiration

It's been a while since I posted about my dieting efforts.
Read between the lines.
I swear I never actually quit dieting--I just quit being obsessed with it. Part of me feels more healthy when I'm not consumed with my consumption, so I try to back-burner the weight loss efforts and go on living.
Wow! That statement says it all, doesn't it? My life depends on confronting this addiction head on--I just get exhausted sometimes.
Last week I had my annual blood work done. The glucose number came back at 127, so we re-tested it. This time it was 128. Diabetes numbers.
My mother was diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 55-ish. She controlled it, was vigilant about her diet and taking her medicine (never needed shots) and monitoring her numbers. Still, diabetes robber her of her sight at the age of 68. She was legally blind when she died at the age of 71. We drove her to appointments, she couldn't teach her Sunday School lessons, she couldn't read (one of her passions) and she couldn't garden (another one).
Diabetes scares me.
After another test, I was cleared of the diabetes scare. Still, I must get moving and I must lose weight to keep this pernicious disease at bay.
So, I'm back on the wagon. Weight Watchers online; diligent tracking; daily walks. Prayer.
After a recent dinner with a friend, we were having an informal family night and reading the scriptures.
“If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.” Luke 9:23.

The most important challenge I have to overcome is this food addiction. I must treat each day as a step towards dealing with it. I have to take up this cross daily.

Sweep the Corners; The Middle Will Take Care of Itself

This was the advice my mother gave me when she taught me how to sweep the floor. I'm sure like many less-than-enthusiastic chore chart check-offers, I swept up the visible dirt and ignored the stuff under the cupboard or the refrigerator--the places I didn't think mattered. Well, they mattered to mama. I would complain that her approach meant more work. She then said, "Fine, just sweep the corners and ignore the middle." I thought that was a genius compromise. Moms are so smart!

I often think of my life and what I pay attention to. Am I concentrating on improving, changing, or polishing my middle--the parts people see--or am I spending my time on my corners? I'm pretty firmly in the middle. Really. I don't use my time for the private reflection that would lead to a personal improvement. I'm not saying I'm a terrible person. I am saying if  I would spend more time with a broom and dishpan attacking the unseen, un-applauded corners of my life, I would be a better Bonnie.

That would be awesome!

Traffic and Weather on the Nines

I have a sixty minute round trip commute. I don't mind it--having an hour a day to listen to a book on tape is a delight. I like having some time to transition from work to home. I also make big plans at the beginning of my drive home--do laundry, clean the bathroom, make two casseroles, and do some yard work--which dissolve into a puddle of non-energy by the time I pull into the carport. But I digress.

This post is about my short attention span.

As soon as I get into Opal I turn on the local news station to catch the latest information about my commute. Every ten minutes 'on the nines' there is a traffic and weather update. I can't tell you how many times I get in the car at 5:55 and miss the traffic and weather at 5:59! Even though I'm really invested in an update of the traffic situation (weather is kind of, well, look outside and see), I can't keep my mind focused long enough to find out if there's a delay on northbound I-15 that I could avoid. It's so frustrating! Luckily, it takes me about ten minutes to get to the freeway, so I can try to catch the next 'nines' for my update. More than once I've entered the freeway to find myself in a bumper to bumper situation I could have avoided with more diligent listening.

I suppose it's not the end of the world that I continue to do this.

What I wonder is if this is similar to my food addiction and healthy eating focus. I really want to pay attention. I am invested. But more often than not I get distracted by one thing or another.

Crazy, huh?

Happy commuting!

Connect & Update: A Lesson to be Learned

I bought a Windows 7 phone over a year ago (January 2, 2011 to be precise). I love it. When I bought it, I was told to download Zune to keep my phone updated. I didn't. For a while, I couldn't. My old computer just didn't have the chops for Zune, my work computer was network restricted and it was too much of a hassle to talk to IT about it, so I just kept using my new phone without any updates. Occasionally the phone would say "Updates are available," but I would ignore it. I mean, how out of date could my new phone be? About a month ago I decided I'd like to update my phone. I have a new home computer, so that shouldn't be a problem, right? Correct--but the cord to connect the phone to the computer was at work where I had last attempted to update. Finally, I got my phone, cord and computer all in the same place, so last night I connected and updated. It took nearly 2 hours, and I was instructed to leave my phone alone during the process so it could be updated without interruptions.Thirty-six updates later, my phone is functioning like a charm!

So, why am I sharing this fascinating story? The whole process made me wonder about my own functionality. When was the last time I gave myself permission to connect and update without interruptions?
How much better would it be if I did this regularly instead of once every 14 months?

Things that make me go hmmm.

Pinteresting and Delightful

I found Pinterest this week. I can see that it could become quite addictive. Is it odd that in some ways it stresses me out? Probably. I have to remind myself it's not a race to see who can pin the most things. There are just so many ideas out there--I feel like I'm behind all the time.

Two things happened today that delighted me.
1) The checker at the grocery store commented on the great variety of healthy food I was buying. (She also kindly didn't mention the peanut butter M&M's and candy bar I bought.)
2) As I was carrying my groceries from the car (Opal; I still LOVE her), two random youths asked if I needed help. Ironically, as I drove past them on my way home, I thought, "Gee, kids are sure sporting weird clothes and hairstyles these days." I love that nice kids are nice kids, no matter what they look like.

Oh, a bonus delight: I'm loving SMASH. Kind of obsessed right now.

I went shopping and lunching with an old friend on Saturday. Deb was my running buddy a decade ago. We worked out for nearly two years and went from walking to running a marathon. Oh, the conversations we had! We solved the world's problems with each mile. It was great to spend some time with her again. She always inspires me to get back with the program. I have ridden my stationary bike this week after work--and I'm surprised at how much better I already feel. Good enough that even when I come home tired I can convince myself to transition into night with a workout. Go me!  

Bonnie's Big Fall...

I have, despite my best intentions, fallen behind in my blogging. I intended to do a photo of the day thing--didn't happen. Oh, I've taken the pictures--well, for a while I did. Then I was tired of the blurry ones from my phone but couldn't find my camera. Then I found my camera but not the cord to download photos to the computer. Then I just got really, really busy.

Excuses, excuses, right? I've read that if you want to improve at something, you need to do it every day. I love to write and want to improve my writing skills, so my blog is the perfect place to practice. I admire my friends who capture their day to day moments in such vivid detail that I feel I'm with them.

I am re-resolving to update my blog at least weekly.

On to weight loss. No progress. I know my knees would feel so much better if I could shed some pounds, but I just seem stuck in old behaviors and belief systems. I plan to immerse myself in some of the Kaleo recommended weight loss books again--it's been too long.

Quick recap of Stampin' Up!'s Leadership meeting in San Antonio. It was amazing. First of all, the location is unbeatable. The convention center is on the Riverwalk, so there's easy access to shopping and restaurants. Also, the event was packed with pleasure for the 1200 attendees. I have the best job in the world--to make a difference in the lives of women who make a difference in the world around them.

I must share a story in detail. Donna Griffith asked us to help her with the reveal of a new product by doing what she called the "Happy Dance." Well, I love to dance and to be a part of things, so I joined. It was fun, fun, fun---until I hit a sign as I was running off the stage. The sign wasn't heavy and didn't hurt, but my equilibrium was disturbed and I ended up turfing it as I ran. Picture someone sliding into first base, arm outstretched towards the base. That was me! I was worried the audience could see, so I said, "Just drag me off!" and Kevin Lunt and Carrie Cudney did. Meanwhile, Sean Douglass was on the other side of the stage and said, "Thurber's down!" so people rushed to help me up. As Scott Nielsen lifted me, he said he'd fallen many times during his carreer as a Yankee pitcher and I should walk it off. Made me laugh--let's compare my stumbling fall to a major league sports injury! Fast forward through lots of concerned faces, a visit with Chester, the convention center first aid guy, 200+ blood pressure and a calming visit in an ambulance. I ended up in my hotel room with pain pills, ice and a heating pad. About an hour later, the fire alarm went off in the hotel, but it was a mechanical error--good thing because I don't know how I would have gone down fourteen flights of stairs! By that evening Jason Hatton had arranged a jazzy chair to help me get around the next two days and I was back in business. Drama!

Here I am in my jazzy chair.

Gotta stop here for now!