It's been a tough week. It's hard to go back to work after an event like convention. I call it 'convention hangover.' No matter how much time I take off to recuperate, actually going back I'm in a mental fog. So much to process, then time to switch gears.
Tuesday night I grazed. I carefully planned my food for the day, including dinner with Cathi at The Dodo, a local restaurant that has been around for years. We each had a cup of gazpacho, then split the fillet Mignon dinner. I had budgeted calories (4 oz of fillet is a ton of points!) and we really felt satisfied. Cathi stayed to do some projects for her church youth group, then went home. Well, you'd have thought I'd gone for hours without eating. I began with a garden tomato with some cottage cheese, then moved to popcorn with some butter spray. Not too bad, but I wasn't eating food. I don't know what I was eating! When I went to bed, I alternately munched cheese and sour cream potato chips and semi-sweet chocolate chips. What the heck!
Wednesday and Thursday have gone better. Still munchy at night, but able to stay in my points range.
So, my biggest victory is I have an appointment with a therapist to talk about my food addiction. The nice gal who arranged the appointment was very helpful and says the therapist has extensive experience and success in helping people overcome this addiction. I'm ready! The appointment isn't until August 17, but that's okay.
I had a breakthrough at work when I realized my approach to a problem is to solve it, not spend time to define and understand it. That works in some cases, but not all. Last summer I tried a new diet every 21 days--I threw one solution after another at my addiction. Not surprisingly, it didn't work. At the time I hadn't admitted it was an addiction. I know that's huge. I'm now ready to see which of my random life experiences has contributed to this situation. Fun times ahead!
I think we all do that at some point - graze for grazing sake - and for no apparent reason - I am very much looking forward to hearing about the therapist - that's sounds very intersting. Keep up the good work Bonnie
ReplyDeleteYou're grazing wasn't too bad, so way to go on making mostly good choices! Sometimes I play this game when I'm feeling that way. I tell myself I can eat as much food as I want, as long as it's all healthy food choices. Then I go on the hunt, sometimes I'll eat a lot of food, but because I make healthy choices, it's not too bad.
ReplyDeleteWay to recognize your addiction and to admit it. You know, the church has an addiction recovery program that is free, and they have groups that meet specifically about food. If you're interested, I'd be happy to get you the details. Good luck with your therapist, I too will be interested in hearing how that goes.