I'm back. As I wrote in the last paragraph of my March blog (yes, the last time I blogged), I can hold a diet together for two great weeks, then I just get tired of the hassle--and yes, it's a relief to just give up and eat what I want.
I should have come clean. I should have listened to your encouragement. I appreciate your attempts to get me back on the ball-thank you Julie Salva, Max and Sam the SAM. I just couldn't deal.
So, where have I been? Nowhere, everywhere.
In April I ended up with pneumonia. Got a shot, took some antibiotics, drank some cough syrup. By the middle of May, I felt recovered and joined my SU friends for the Australia/New Zealand Convention in Syndey. We left on Monday, arrived on Wednesday, and by Thursday my chest was tight and it hurt to breathe. I had no voice and had to whisper my presentations. Luckily the AU/NZ demos were totally understanding. Back home I needed another round of antibiotics combined with a solid week of no work. It's the beginning of July and I finally feel more energy. Don't want to do that again!
Also, it's my summer of 49. That's what my friend Kim called it two years ago when she was 49 and her hormones turned her into a person she didn't know. I feel like an alien has invaded my body, my heart, and my spirit. I want to laugh about it, but I can't. It's not just the hot flashes--it's my complete inability to feel like myself. How long will this last? Hopefully I can get some great meds that stabilize me a bit. I hate resorting to that, but something's gotta give here.
I finally feel like I've put some tools in place to help me in. First, I joined Weight Watchers online. I know tracking food is the only way for me to pay attention. Second, I'm going to get some help for my food addiction. Yup, I said it. Eating numbs me; removes me from my life. Sad, because I think I have a pretty good life--so what am I running from? Third, I've told my friends and family about my goal to lose 50 pounds by the time I'm 50-February 17, 2011, and finally, I'm going to commit to writing 50 blogs to document those 50 pounds. This is the first of those blogs. I plan to blog on Sundays and Thursdays. Should be fun!